Almost home

Sitting here at Heathrow counting the minutes until my plane leaves. Can’t wait to see my family again. Leaving Dad was somehow easier this time. I think I’ve left him so many times, each time thinking it would be the last. Someday it will be; maybe it was today. It’s somehow gotten easier. I was looking at him last night. Hard to believe that this is the man whose shoulders I climbed to jump into the lake. Hard to believe that he once knew how to drive a car with a trailer attached and to do so many things that amazed me as a child. Hard to believe so many things about him. For a minute last night I was angry at him for how he has hurt our family. Stuff that you think is buried or not even there rises to the surface and surprises. I realized last night that for all of this, I still have it easier than many. My Dad still recognizes me. He is still home. I’ll take blessings wherever I can find them. In this all, I’m trying to learn how to honor my father. Being away has been good, but going home is much better. One day I want to bring Charlene here and really have a good time. I hope to return in the Fall to check in again, this time with a brother, but I swear one day I’m returning just to have fun. Between now and then there will be other visits to check in and one day a funeral. But one day I’ll come for fun.