Listen first

One of the things I’ve had to learn the hard way is to not edit other people when they’re upset. I want to tell them that they’re not expressing themselves appropriately or to make suggestions, when sometimes all I should do is listen. Then, later, when they truly feel that they’ve been heard, we can talk about what was expressed. Sometimes this is soon after. Sometimes it takes days. There have sometimes been serious issues that needed to be addressed, but the time to do this is often not in the heat of the discussion. I’ve been thinking about this over the past few days. The hurt that people express is real, even if some of us don’t completely understand it and even if it’s expressed harshly. Eventually we always get to the point when we can talk about it, but I always have to remind myself – listen first, refuse to edit others, even when they’re angry. Especially when they’re angry.

Darryl Dash

Darryl Dash

I'm a grateful husband, father, oupa, and pastor of Grace Fellowship Church Don Mills. I love learning, writing, and encouraging. I'm on a lifelong quest to become a humble, gracious old man.
Toronto, Canada