McGuinty apologizes to used car salesmen

TORONTO – Dalton McGuinty said Friday that one of his first tasks in office would be to mend fences with the used car sales community. The used car industry protested outside of Queens Park as McGuinty held his first news conference as premier-elect. McGuinty likened his rival, Conservative leader Ernie Eves, to a used car salesman during the campaign, after the Eves team compared him to a pointy-headed reptillian kitten eater. “I had no idea they’d be so upset,” McGuinty said. “I know lots of fine used car salesmen. At least I think I do. I’m sure I met one or two on my campaign. Who can tell?” Meanwhile, the toast industry reacted with satisfaction to the defeat of Ernie Eves. Earlier this week, Ernie Eves said, “We [Conservatives] are not toast.” Michael Farber, toast activist, said that Ernie Eves is not good enough to be toast. “If we don’t stand up for toast, who’s next?” McGuinty, who looked weary the morning after his decisive victory, responded by thanking the toast community. “I like toast,” he said, lips quivering. “I like buttered toast and I even like burnt toast. I even like bagels. Let’s all work together to build a better Ontario.”