DashHouse launches hostile bid for Achievable Ends

TORONTO – DashHouse.com announced today that it is making a hostile takeover bid for Achievable Ends, a blog on faith, media, and leadership.

“We think that Achievable Ends will be a great addition to the DashHouse family of blogs,” said DashHouse blogger Darryl Dash. “It brings a certain edge that we’re currently lacking.”

According to Blogshares, Achievable Ends is valued at over 3 million dollars. They note:

achievable ends suffered a huge setback with several analysts urging their clients to ditch the stock as it suffered a public relations disaster. The exact nature of customer dissatisfaction was not known but beachtiglet was rumoured to have had a hand in it. Industry insiders suspect a Relay (artefact) was involved. achievable ends share price dropped from B$80,497.28 to B$39,443.67

Sadly, this is not the first scandal involving Achievable Ends blogger Bill Kinnon and beachtiglets.

Dash, however, believes that Achievable Ends is poised for a comeback, especially after Internet Monk named it one of the top blogs of 2007. Michael Spencer, the Internet Monk, wrote, “Bill has his finger on the pulse of what’s happening at the intersections of emerging church and traditional church, all done with an appreciation for technology. Just the right amount of attitude.” While Bill Kinnon’s wife Imbi Kinnon disputes that her husband has just the right amount of attitude, Dash agrees that Kinnon writes a good blog. “Frankly, I can never get my finger on the pulse. Maybe a little more of Bill’s attitude will help.”

Dash also announced that he has plans to hire other bloggers, such as commenter Ken Davis, who also serves as pastor of Thistletown Baptist Church. Last year, prominent pastor Thabiti Anyabwile said that Davis is “about as close to walking laughter and Christian joy as you’ll find.” “With Bill’s attitude, and Ken’s laughter and joy, we can’t be beat,” said Dash.

Dash was also rumored to be making an offer for the services of Toronto blogger Paul Martin, until he read Martin’s description of himself at his blog: “I am the worst sinner I know.” Dash said, “We don’t need that kind around here.” Dash’s wife was overheard agreeing that they already had a big enough sinner on their hands. When apprised of his wife’s statement, Dash had no further comment.

Darryl Dash

Darryl Dash

I'm a grateful husband, father, oupa, and pastor of Grace Fellowship Church Don Mills. I love learning, writing, and encouraging. I'm on a lifelong quest to become a humble, gracious old man.
Toronto, Canada