The main reason for the rewrites is to simply take the focus from “what we do for God” to give us a sense of spiritual affirmation and placing it firmly on “what God has done and is doing for us”. I am convinced that what I think, do or say about God will always prove my inability to be anything else but grace dependant. However, what God “thinks, does and says” about me is a miracle that can never be fully grasped. It is simply too wonderful. How could we ask this of the Creator of the universe. Thinking about it just spins me out. God.. do we really understand the enormity of those three letters…God reduces himself to humanity so we can know and say:
“You have walked my path,
You have run my race
So I may never be the same again.”
I just cannot say or sing it the other way anymore. I am totally stuffed if I do the walking and running.
There’s nothing to celebrate about my actions…but, what God does…can’t stop celebrating.. just blows me away, and I have to ask myself whether we really understand it at all!!!
I have so struggled with the songs and even more with the culture of worship. It really makes me cringe, and then I realise that I am terribly responsible for this “Jesus is my Boyfriend, lover, alternative husband…” rubbish. I have seen marriages fall apart as one partner starts to have an obsessive emotional relationship with their “Heavenly Boyfriend”. It is in this awareness that I find it impossible to appreciate anything that has gone before…the songs reveal a shallow, guilt ridden experience that always needed an emtional hit in order to maintain any sense of “spirituality”. My songs are still in that culture. I am not. This is why I have rewritten the lyrics. I hope that it explains who the real Geoff Bullock is rather than his shallow stage persona. It has been a long journey, and a very strange life. I find it all so overwhelming. I am just an ordinary man that got caught up in something that I so regret…and yet the postcards from my life are still being read…mmmm, does this make sense?
Some great rewrites here. I appreciate Geoff sharing so openly.