Philip Yancey has an excellent chapter called “Designer Sex” in his book Rumors of Another World. A sample:
I believe we Christians bear heavy responsibility for the counter-reaction so evident in modern society. Jesus treated those who had fallen into sexual sins with compassion and forgiveness, and reserved his harshest words for the hidden sins of hypocrisy, pride, greed, and legalism. How is it that we who follow him use the word “immoral” to signify sexual sins almost exclusively and reserve church discipline for those who fail sexually?… I must say a word of compassion to those who already have failed to meet that design – through promiscuity, adultery, divorce. Jesus set the example for the rest of us by responding with great tenderness to those who have failed sexually. Recognizing the depth of their pain, he offered forgiveness and not judgment. The pain that lingers after sexual failure is, oddly, an indirect proof of sexuality’s original design…in sex, as in every area of life, fallen humanity gets in the way and keeps us from realizing the ideal.