God Considers Smiting Bible Pirates

The latest news from Vatican City (found through AKMA). This is bad news for Bible Gateway.

God did not rule out smiting as a final measure against those who share his most famous work, the Bible, on the Internet. This marks the first time a deity has spoken on IT-related questions since Steve Jobs was temporarily Enlightened when touching the One True iMac some years ago.

Citing misuse of His word, misquotation, and putting hardworking Bible printers out of work, God said he would now start hunting Bible pirating around the globe. “I have to defend both my world-famous brand – the Bible and its distinctive likenesses – and the livelihood of those who create and distribute legal copies of it.