Work Hard at Unity (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Big Idea: Work hard at maintaining the unity that God has given us by cultivating the right attitudes.

One of the challenging things about the Bible is that it doesn’t just command us to act a certain way toward each other; it commands us to feel a certain way toward each other.

Take a look around. We’re a bunch of very different people. We have different personalities, different quirks, and different beliefs on all kinds of matters. It would be very easy for us to split apart over any number of things.

Add to the fact that we don’t get to choose who comes to church. We’re kind of stuck with each other. Not everyone who joins a church is our kind of person. Every church I know includes some challenging or socially awkward people.

And the Bible doesn’t command us to only act well toward each other. It commands us to feel a certain way toward each other.

In other words, the Bible doesn’t command us to treat each other well with gritted teeth. It demands a certain attitude. A good example is Ephesians 4:31-32, which says:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Notice the combination of attitudes and actions. Get rid of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander, and all malice. Don’t let them take root in your heart, because if they’re in your heart they will eventually come out.

Get rid of bad attitudes, and then adopt some good attitudes. He talks about being kind, but the kindness isn’t just an action. The kindness comes from being tenderhearted. Tenderheartedness stems from deep compassion within, not just superficial politeness. It reflects an internal feeling rather than merely outward actions.

Paul is saying that “feelings of bitterness, resentment, and a desire for retaliation must give way to a warm and tender heart” (Clinton Arnold).

To which we might say: Are you kidding me, Paul? It’s hard enough for me to act kindly toward difficult people. And now I’m supposed to feel warmly and tenderly toward them too?

Yes, Paul says, but we need to back up to the start of chapter 4 to see how this works.

A Turning Point

Ephesians 4:1 says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called…”

The "therefore" marks a turning point in Ephesians. Up to this point, Paul has been talking about theology. The first three chapters of Ephesians are all about what God has done. God has chosen us and sealed us with the Holy Spirit to the praise of his glory. We were dead in sins, but God graciously made us alive in Christ and made us one with former enemies in Christ. He’s made us members of his body, so that we are now the new dwelling place together for the Spirit. This became the driving force of Paul’s life and transformed the church into a theater of God’s glory.

I like how James Montgomery Boice puts it:

With the possible exception of Romans, no New Testament letter contains a stronger or more exhilarating presentation of theology. Chapters 1–3 have spoken of predestination and election, adoption and redemption, the work of the Holy Spirit, rebirth, the work of God in joining people from all nations and all walks of life together in the one holy body of Christ, the church. This is so marvelous a section that Paul ends chapter 3 with a doxology.

That doxology says:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

In light of these profound theological truths, Paul calls us to live accordingly. He shifts from doctrine to duty, creed to conduct, and from theology to the practical realities of a transformed life. As Boice said, “He is telling us that doctrinal ‘input’ must be matched by an equal, practical ‘output’ of that doctrine in our lives.”

It’s important to notice something about what Paul teaches. In Ephesians 1:10, Paul reveals God’s ultimate purpose: “to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.” This points to a future day when the entire universe and the whole church will be brought into perfect unity under Christ, the supreme head of all. While this cosmic unity awaits its full realization, Paul emphasizes in chapters 2 and 3 that this work has already begun. Through Christ, God has united Jews and Gentiles—people from vastly different ethnic, social, and religious backgrounds—into one new humanity. These individuals had different personalities, priorities, and backgrounds, yet they were united in their mission to achieve the church’s goal of spiritual and cultural transformation, as described in the opening chapters of this epistle.

In other words, loving each other from the heart isn’t incidental to the gospel. It’s at the core of the gospel. It’s an essential part of what Christ came to do.

Three Truths About Unity

In light of the gospel that Paul has expounded in chapters 1 to 3, listen to what Paul says in chapter 4:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1–3)

Here’s the call on our lives: to walk in a manner worthy of our calling. Our calling as believers comes with responsibilities. How can we walk worthy of our calling? In two ways, according to this chapter: by walking in unity and by living a godly life. We’re going to look at the first part today. We walk worthily of the gospel when we walk together in unity.

Remember, this isn’t abstract. As they read this letter together, they would have been experiencing some of the tensions that made it hard. This is not abstract; this is an application of the gospel to something that they faced, and we face too.

I want you to notice three things:

It will take work.

The central command is found in verse 3: “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” The NET Bible captures the idea well: “making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” This verse conveys both eagerness and effort. We should desire this unity; it’s something we should want to pursue. But it also requires hard work. The text assumes this task won’t be easy. Maintaining unity will demand significant energy and focus from the church. There will be challenges, confrontations, and difficulties along the way, but the responsibility remains. It calls for intentionality, effort, and diligence.

Why will it require so much work? Because, as Don Carson explains:

The church inevitably gains more than its fair share of awkward and offensive people. Do you know why? Because no other group in society will have them. The church is bound to collect a disproportionate percentage of misfits because, by and large, the church is still a more receptive place for them than other places, and far from shunning them and squeezing them to the periphery, we ought to glory that Christ goes after the ignoble and the weak.

It will take effort because God doesn’t call a homogeneous group of polished, like-minded individuals to form his church. He brings together a diverse group of people who normally wouldn’t have anything in common and might even annoy each other. He calls people with different personalities, beliefs, and quirks to be the church and to love each other. If it’s work, it’s not a sign that something is wrong. It will take a lot of effort. It’s meant to be this way.

It will take work. Here’s the second thing I want you to notice:

It’s not our job to create the unity; it’s our job to maintain it.

We’re supposed to be “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” We don’t have to create it; we have to maintain it.

Our unity is a gift, freely given and already secured. It was purchased by Jesus through his sacrifice and granted to us by the Holy Spirit. This unity isn’t something we need to earn or strive to achieve. It’s already ours in Christ by virtue of the fact that God has made us one in him.

We don’t have to work to get it, but we have to work to keep it. Imagine someone giving you a brand new car as a gift. You didn’t earn it, and you didn’t pay for it. It’s yours, freely given. But owning the car comes with responsibilities. You need to maintain it: change the oil, keep the tires inflated, and fill it with gas. If you neglect it, the car won’t function as it should. The gift remains yours, but it takes effort to keep it running smoothly.

That’s how it is with our unity in Christ. Friends, we don’t have to create unity at GFC. We already have it. But we sure have to work hard to maintain it, because we will screw it up if we don’t work hard at it. It takes a lot of work.

It will take work. Our job isn’t to create unity; our job is to maintain it. Here’s a third thing I want you to notice:

It requires us to cultivate three attitudes.

Look at the attitudes Paul mentions in verse 2: humility, gentleness, and patience. To maintain the unity given by God, we must actively work on cultivating these attitudes.

• Humility — Humility keeps surfacing in this series, and for good reason. It’s not shyness or self-deprecation. As C.S. Lewis wisely put it, humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. In Paul’s day, this was a countercultural virtue. The society around him prized honor and avoided shame at all costs. Humility, by contrast, stands in opposition to self-assertion and insisting on your own way. It’s about showing deference to others, prioritizing their needs, and seeking their best interests above your own. It’s a posture of the heart that reflects the very character of Christ. Paul wants us to understand, “I am not a big deal. God is, and others are, but I am not a big deal. It is not all about me!”
• Gentleness — Gentleness is not weakness; it’s about self-control. It's about treating others with kindness, empathy, and gentle encouragement instead of harshness and criticism. It means channeling and controlling our natural responses so that they are helpful for others. Gentleness channels our impulses and reactions toward good, life-giving purposes, rather than destructive, life-draining ones.
• Patience — Patience can be translated “suffering long.” God calls us to suffer long with each other, enduring with one another. It’s about making every excuse we can for others. It’s what Paul says in the rest of the verse: “bearing with one another in love” or “putting up with one another in love.” I love how practical this is. We need to cultivate the habit of putting up with each other rather than giving up on each other when it’s hard.

It will take work. Our job isn’t to create unity; our job is to maintain it. It will require us to cultivate three attitudes: humility, gentleness, and patience. It will never be easy, but by doing these things, we will foster the kind of unity that’s central to the gospel and to what God is calling us to as a church.

Work hard at maintaining the unity that God has given us by cultivating the right attitudes.

Friends, the gospel doesn’t just save us; it joins us with people who will drive us absolutely crazy. And it calls us not just to be nice to each other, but to feel tenderly towards each other, and to love each other from the heart.

This is impossible apart from the gospel. And even with the gospel, it will take a lot of work. Without intentionality, we will mess it up.

How do we do this work? Remember you’re no big deal. Choose to control rather than vent your natural reactions so that they’re helpful for others, even those who drive you crazy. Be gentle, because remember: you are no big deal. And put up with others.

Keep working at this and you will find yourself maintaining the precious thing that Jesus has purchased for us with his own blood. You will find yourself starting to love the people who otherwise would drive you crazy.

Remember that these are the attitudes that Jesus has shown to us. He was a big deal, but chose to come humbly as a servant. He was gentle and kind with us. He puts up with us despite us giving him every reason to be done with us. These attitudes embody the way that Jesus has treated us, and he calls us to show these same attitudes to others.

Next week we’re looking at the actions that flow out of these attitudes. But this is the place to start. Work hard at it. It won’t be easy. But as we do these things, God will make our church into a little mirror of the gospel, a small reflection of the way that Jesus has treated us.