Why Char Loves Me

holding hands

I sometimes ask Char why she loves me. She gives me the most frustrating answer: just because.

My looks? Not surprising, but that’s not the reason Char loves me. My bank account? Don’t make me laugh. My ability to bring a smile to her face? I don’t think that hurts, but it’s not the main reason she loves me. The fact that I try to listen and care for her? She appreciates that, but it’s also not the primary reason she loves me.

She loves me just because.

One day I complained to her about this answer. I can think of 20 reasons why I love her. Why can’t she come up with a better reason to love me other than she just does?

She told me that if she loved me because of my appearance, financial situation, or behavior, then her love for me would be weak and could change if any of these things changed. But her love for me was based on something more secure: she’d chosen and committed to love me no matter what, even if those things disappeared.

I stopped complaining. Char’s answer to why she loves me isn’t what I thought. It’s better.

The same applies to our relationship with God, but even more so. Why does God love us? We believe there are many reasons for this: God saw something in us, we deserve it, we work hard for his approval, or we are fundamentally good. But that’s not why God chose Israel, and it’s not why God chose us either.

It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. (Deuteronomy 7:7-8)
Know, therefore, that the LORD your God is not giving you this good land to possess because of your righteousness, for you are a stubborn people. (Deuteronomy 9:6)

God doesn’t love us because we deserve his love, which is good news, because if we had to deserve his love, we’d be in danger of losing it.

God loves us simply because he’s chosen to love us. He’s taken the initiative. His love for us is based not on our character but on his, so we can rest secure. We don’t have to worry about being worthy of his love, because we’re not. But he loves us anyway, not because we’re worthy, but simply because he’s chosen to love us.

“There is such love and such grace in the heart of God [that] if you understood the length and breadth and height and depth of it, you would never be discouraged,” said Jonathan Edwards.

Christian: God loves you just because, and that’s very good news for all of us.

Darryl Dash

Darryl Dash

I'm a grateful husband, father, oupa, and pastor of Grace Fellowship Church Don Mills. I love learning, writing, and encouraging. I'm on a lifelong quest to become a humble, gracious old man.
Toronto, Canada