The Humble Church (James 4:1-10)

Big Idea: Conflict in the church arises from selfish desires and pride, but God offers grace to those who humble themselves, submit to him, and allow his transforming power to create a unified, Christ-centered community.

What advice would you give a church that was experiencing some conflict?

I don’t ask this question because we’re facing conflict in our church right now, at least not more than usual. There aren’t any hidden messages here about things you don’t know about. I’m asking this question because we will go through conflict as a church, as well as all kinds of other issues. Conflict is inevitable. This is a problem that our church has faced in the past and will face again in the future, even though we’re not in a season of heightened conflict right now.

The question is important to us right now, and it will be important to us in the future. What is good, biblical advice for a church facing conflict? It’s important for us to know before we face that conflict so we know what to do when we get there.

A Closer Look at Conflict

James, the half-brother of Jesus, wrote the book that bears his name to a broad audience, probably mostly Jewish Christians. It’s important to note this. James isn’t writing to a particular church, and so he’s not addressing particular problems that a certain church faced. He’s addressing issues that are common to all churches. One of these is conflict.

James asks a key question in chapter 4, verse 1: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?”

I've been doing this a long time, and I always hear two responses: a genuine concern or "they started it." In other words, whenever a quarrel or a fight breaks out among believers, it’s legitimate. I’m innocent. I’m simply expressing my concern or responding to what someone else has done.

What’s the real reason conflict breaks out in a church? James tells us:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (James 4:2-3)

James uses very intense language. He doesn’t soften his language but uses alarming terms: wars, fightings, at war, kill, fight, wage war.

James chooses the vocabulary of war to express controversies and quarrels, animosities and bad feeling among Christians, not because there is no other way of saying it, but because there is no other way of expressing the horror of it. He is seeing the relationships of the church through the eye of God. (J.A. Motyer)

What’s the root cause of conflict in the church? James is direct. The real reason behind all the other reasons is the passions that are at war within us. This is unflattering. James says that we have passions or desires within us. “When we want something badly enough, most of us are willing to sin in order to achieve or preserve it, or to sin when we don’t achieve or preserve it” (John Henderson).

We want things. Not surprising. Here’s what’s surprising. He says that our desires are like soldiers that are ready to go to war at any time. “All our desires and passions are like an armed camp within us, ready at a moment’s notice to declare war against anyone who stands in the way of some personal gratification on which we have set our hearts” (Motyer).

Again, when we’re in conflict with others, we would disagree with this. It would be hard to think that these words apply to us. But here’s the reality: the root cause of relational breakdown within the church is simple and disturbing. Our desires often become like soldiers, ready to go to war against others. The issue is a self-centered mindset. And if you start to go down that road, it’s the same road that leads to murder. It’s a matter of degrees, but we may be closer to this danger than we realize.

It turns out this isn’t just a problem in our relationship with others. It’s a problem in our relationship with God as well. James says that even our prayers can be so contaminated by a selfish focus that God doesn’t answer our prayers. We can begin to use God for our own purposes, which leads to very serious consequences.

This is hard, but it’s about to get worse. In verses 4 and 5, James goes even farther.

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? (James 4:4-5)

James calls the issue spiritual adultery. A misplaced love for the world and its values stirs up quarreling and conflict among God’s people. God longs for our hearts to be fully devoted to Him, and when we align ourselves with worldly desires, it grieves him deeply, like a spouse betrayed by unfaithfulness. Acting selfishly reflects the world’s values rather than the character of Christ.

James is saying that our anger and irritation are signs that something is wrong in our hearts. The result is not only conflict with others, but hatred of God. It’s pride. “We quarrel and bicker because we love ourselves more than Jesus Christ” (John Henderson).

Sam Allberry writes:

The default setting for all people is to live with themselves at the centre. Ever since the first sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, this is what comes naturally to us. It is the very mentality for which we need forgiveness, for it pushes God from his rightful place. When Christians adopt this mindset, they are figuratively climbing back into bed with the world. It is not friendship with people in the world that’s wrong, but friendship with the values of the world. And God takes it personally—just like a husband who finds his wife back in bed with the thug she was dating before he had come into her life and rescued her from that awful relationship. Such a husband would have every right to be angry. And James is very clear that being unfaithful to God provokes his enmity.

What looks small at first—quarrels and squabbles—is a symptom of a much more serious problem. It shows a self-centered attitude. A selfish focus is not a small thing. It’s what leads to the worst relational sins. It’s what leads to the worst sins. It is the worst kind of betrayal possible, not just against fellow believers but against God himself.

Let’s get very practical here with something silly. Imagine that the person who buys our coffee started to use really bad coffee to save money. Some of us care about coffee because it embodies hospitality, which is essential to us. What began as a well-intentioned decision could easily turn into some mild conflict within the church.

Here’s what James shows us. If that happened, the real issue is not the coffee. It’s pride, personal preferences, and a desire to be heard. The coffee beans are just the battleground; the real war would be happening in our hearts. The coffee bean debate would simply reveal a deeper alignment with worldly values: self-interest, pride, and a lack of humility. What seemed like a small disagreement is actually a symptom of hearts that have drifted from God’s priorities. It’s never only about the coffee.

Coffee is just a lighthearted example. I could easily point to countless, more serious issues that churches face regularly:

• Disagreements over worship
• Conflicts about how church funds are allocated
• Disputes about leadership decisions or direction
• Differences in opinions about secondary theological issues

And so on. The problem is rarely the issue itself; it’s our selfishness, pride, and failure to prioritize unity and love.

Again, these are not the problems in a particular church. These are the problems in every church. This is not the problem that some of us have. We all have a tendency towards selfishness that can harm our relationship with God and with others in the church.

The Solution

This is very convicting. You, like me, might be feeling discouraged right now. James is turning up the heat. I’m almost scared of what he is going to say next. Until I read the next few words in verse 6: “But he gives more grace.”

I don’t know about you. I needed that. Sometimes I realize how much sin is still in my life, which leads to despair. That's why I'm grateful that there is always more grace available than our sins. We need God’s cleansing grace, available through Jesus, to cleanse us from the sin of our selfishness and to reorient our hearts toward what pleases him. No matter our need, God always has more grace to give.

We need this! The gospel offers profound hope to us when we see the selfish orientation of our hearts. God is able not only to forgive our sins but to transform our hearts by his grace. It's our only hope when we see the reality of our sin. God gives more grace if we're willing to humble ourselves and receive it.

But grace changes how we live. Grace comes with responsibility. Read what James writes next in verses 6 to 10:

Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Let’s see if we can get to the heart of what he says in this passage. Verses 6 to 10 describe the opposite of a quarreling community. It’s the only true alternative. It’s the God-given prescription for receiving God’s grace in abundance. You are either living in the ugliness of verses 1 to 5, or you are living in the grace of verses 6 to 10. There are no other ways.

Here’s the only alternative to a quarreling congregation and the only pathway to receiving God’s grace as a church: humility. In fact, a church that doesn’t possess this quality won’t receive God’s grace and will actually be opposed by God.

What is humility? It’s dethroning our self-centeredness and realizing that we’re no big deal. Our desires and preferences are no big deal. God is a big deal. Life is about much more than us getting our way.

Humility is actually a big relief. It frees us from the crushing weight of focusing on ourselves. In The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins returned home and had a conversation with the wizard Gandalf. Gandalf told him:

“You are a very fine person, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!”
“Thank goodness!” Said Bilbo laughing, and handed him the tobacco-jar.

Realizing that we are small and that our desires matter less than we believe is both true and refreshing news.

What does humility look like? James gets practical. It looks like submitting to God, resisting the devil, drawing near to God, and repenting. It means acknowledging our sins sincerely, confessing them to our kind Father, and making significant efforts to overcome them.

Humility means that we recognize our pride. It means that we examine what we value more than others and even more than Christ. And then we repent, receive his grace, and surrender to his will. This may mean losing the immediate relational battle or relinquishing the treasures we’ve clung to so tightly. Such attitudes and actions demonstrate true submission to God and firm resistance to the devil.

The good news: God isn’t playing hard to get. He will always welcome his children who turn back to him from their sinful ways.

Remember, this passage is not written to a particular church to address a particular problem. It’s written to churches in general to address a problem that every church will face. It’s written to address a problem that every Christian will face.

Here’s what this passage is telling us: Conflict in the church arises from selfish desires and pride, but God offers grace to those who humble themselves, submit to him, and allow his transforming power to create a unified, Christ-centered community.

There are two ways to live. The first comes naturally. It’s a way of life that characterizes the world. It’s to put ourselves first. It’s to insist on having our preferences met, of militarize our desires against others. This way of living can only be characterized by one word: pride. If we live this way, we will be opposed by God, and that terrifies me.

But there’s another way of living that can be characterized by one word: humility. Humility is not one virtue among others; it is the very foundation of the Christian life.

In the next few weeks, we'll discuss what it means to be united as a church. It starts with understanding that our biggest challenge is our self-centeredness. To become the church God desires, we must embrace humility, submit to God, repent for our selfishness, and let his grace transform us into a community that reflects his character and glorifies him.

So, let’s respond. Let’s lay down our pride, our preferences, and our selfish desires. Let’s come to the cross, where grace flows freely, and find the strength to live in humility and unity. And as we do, let’s trust that God will do what he’s promised: he will exalt us, not for our glory, but for his.