The Gift of Romance (Song of Songs 1:1-2:7)

Big Idea: Romantic love is a gift, but it creates powerful desires that shouldn’t be unleashed too soon.

The Song of Songs, like romantic love, is confusing and a little embarrassing.

It’s confusing. I had no idea when I picked this book how confusing it is. We've just completed the Book of Revelation, which is likely the most challenging book in the New Testament to understand and interpret. Now we’re in the Song of Songs, which may be the hardest book in the Old Testament to understand and interpret. Let me give you some of the confusing questions that we need to face as we look at this book:

• Is it allegorical or literal? Should we interpret it as an allegory of the relationship between Christ and the church, as many Christians have historically done, or as literal love poetry celebrating human sexuality and romance?
• Is it a coherent narrative or a collection of love poems? Some see Song of Songs as a drama. But even then, it’s hard to tell if it’s a drama with two or three characters. It's unclear whether Solomon is the main character in the drama or if the shepherd takes the lead, with Solomon posing a threat to their relationship. Others argue that there’s no clear characters or plot structure, and it’s simply a collection of love poetry. It’s hard to find two commentators who agree.
• Where is God in the Song? The Song of Songs is remarkable for its almost complete lack of explicit references to God. Unlike almost all other books in the Hebrew Bible, it does not mention the main names for God, except for one disputed instance.

And so listen to scholars talk about how difficult it is to interpret this book. Ninth-century Rabbi Saadia compared the Song to "a lock for which the key had been lost." A 19th-century scholar (Franz Delitzsch) noted that "whatever interpretation principle one adopts, many passages remain inexplicable." Marvin Pope highlighted that no other text of comparable size in global literature has sparked such a wide array of interpretations. Daniel Estes notes that "scholars disagree on nearly every aspect of its interpretation," with "virtually every verse presenting challenges in text, philology, imagery, grammar, or structure."

John Walton and Andrew Hill summarize the situation bluntly: "No Old Testament book has proven more perplexing for biblical interpreters."

So it’s confusing. But here’s the other thing about Song of Songs.

It’s embarrassing. My friend Steve Mathewson says, “The lyrics in the Song of Songs are somewhat embarrassing and border on being erotic.” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, stick around in this series and you’ll find out.

No wonder it’s hard to find many sermons on this book!

Why We're Looking at This Book

The Song of Songs is confusing and embarrassing. So why are we going to be looking at this book? Lots of reasons, but let me just list two.

It’s Scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

This also includes the song. We believe that the Song of Songs has divine origin and can be used by God to teach us about healthy human love. It can rebuke some of our mistaken views of romantic love and sexuality. It can teach us God’s intent for a very important part of what it means to be men and women. We’re going to look at this book because it’s Scripture.

Here’s the second reason we’re going to look at this book.

We need it. Is there anything more confusing to figure out than romantic love? Dating apps, cultural pressures, and the differences between men and women highlight the need for God's wisdom on this important topic.

If we don’t listen to God on this topic, we’ll listen to someone else. If God isn’t squeamish about this topic, we shouldn’t be either.

Despite the challenges, it’s worth it to wrestle with this book. I believe we can understand it while acknowledging where we may disagree. We need the insights from this book about human relationships and its guidance toward our ultimate purpose in relationships.

Whether you’re single or married, we need to understand the message of Song of Songs and what it means for us today.

Setting the Stage

Verse 1 says, “The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.”

Please be aware that this is a song. That tells us something about the genre of the book. It’s a literary text that was originally put to music. Think about some of the implications of this. It’s meant to be experienced emotionally, not just studied intellectually. There’s going to be some poetry involved. Instead of a puzzle to solve, it is an experience to enter into. As Eric Ortlund writes, “The book does not reflect on love as much as express what it feels like from the inside.” We learn about love by seeing the world through the eyes of lovers. That’s how this song is going to instruct us.

The phrase “Song of Songs” is a superlative, signifying that this poem is the greatest of all songs. Just as the Holy of Holies was the most sacred place in the temple, and the King of kings declares God as supreme over all rulers, this title emphasizes its unmatched excellence. Among all songs, this one stands above the rest as the finest.

What does it mean when it says “which is Solomon’s”? It could mean that Solomon wrote it. 1 Kings 4:32 says that Solomon wrote over a thousand songs. But the original language isn’t clear. It could also mean "about Solomon," "in the style of Solomon," or "dedicated to Solomon" rather than "written by Solomon." Which is it? We don’t know for sure. I’m not going to be dogmatic about it, but I see some issues with viewing Solomon as either the author or the hero of this book because his actual life story contradicts the Song's message about faithful, exclusive love.

As I’ve studied this book, let me tell you what makes sense to me, even as I acknowledge that it’s hard to find two scholars who agree. I believe this is a story about a couple—a man (likely not Solomon) and a woman. Their relationship unfolds with a sense of logical flow, moving from desire to marriage and beyond. I view this book as a story by an unknown author about two people deeply in love. The text not only celebrates their love but also reflects the deeper love between Jesus and his people.

And I believe it’s a book that’s important for us to read.

The Romance Begins

The opening verses reveal a powerful sense of attraction. As we begin this book, we’re going to see that things are already very much underway. Let’s see if we can understand what this section teaches us as we see this couple in the early stages.

There are three observations I want to make in this first scene of this book.

Romantic love is a gift (1:1-4)

The attraction between the man and woman in the opening of the Song of Songs is unmistakable and compelling.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine…”
(1:2)

What a beginning! The book wastes no time diving into the passionate emotions and longing between these two individuals. Iain Duguid observes:

The Song of Songs is not primarily a book about sex, or a manual of dating tips, or an 'agony aunt' column of relationship advice. It is a book about desire from beginning to end—desire stirred, desire frustrated, desire satisfied, desire frustrated again—but above all, desire. The woman wants something—or rather, someone—with a passionate and breathless desire.

This passage vividly captures the female protagonist's longing for her beloved. Her senses are fully captivated. She is captivated by the fragrance of his anointing oils (verse 3) and the beauty of his name. She yearns for deep intimacy, desiring to be drawn into the privacy of his chambers (verse 4). Notably, her desire isn’t hidden; even her friends—her community—are involved, aware of and supportive of her affection for this man.

Interestingly, the man himself doesn’t appear until later in verse 8. Until then, he is only visible as the focus of her desire, enhancing the reader’s appreciation of her love.

Romantic love is a gift! God is for it. It is part of God’s design for humanity. We often see it, along with sex, as taboo or unholy, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. God created desire, love, and intimacy as good gifts. They are to be celebrated and honored within God’s framework. Though Satan often seeks to distort or misuse them, their origin as divine blessings remains unchanged.

And they are powerful. Desire awakens our most profound longings and engages all our senses. It is not easily contained. It overflows, stirring emotions and fueling aspirations for emotional and physical connection.

Romantic love is a powerful, transformative force and a sacred gift that reflects God's design for human connection and joy.

There’s a second observation we see in this passage:

Romantic love creates powerful desires (1:5-2:6)

In verses 1 to 4, we’ve seen the perspective of the woman, but we haven’t yet discovered the man’s thoughts. This changes in the next part. In verses 8 to 10 and verse 15, it becomes clear that the man is just as captivated by her as she is by him. Both express the joy they find in one another. They praise each other.

In verses 5 to 8, we see one of the challenges keeping the couple apart: their obligations. Both are busy with their work. The woman labors in the vineyards, suggesting she’s a peasant girl enduring hard work and a difficult family. She also doesn’t conform to traditional beauty standards of the time. Meanwhile, the man works as a shepherd. Their love exists amid the demands of their daily lives.

Yet there’s a sense of longing. The woman plays a key role in this passage, driving the narrative forward largely through her thoughts, as romantic love and desire often start in the mind. In verses 1:12-14, the woman imagines their future together. She lies in bed and fantasizes about being with her beloved. Though he’s not with her, she deeply yearns for him and envisions their love blossoming. They exchange praise for one another, and she uses imagery from nature to describe the growth of their love. By 2:3-7, they are feasting and embracing in her imagination, with the woman describing herself as “sick with love.”

There’s so much figurative language here. Scholars debate how much to interpret sexually. She loves him deeply, which is pushing her toward physical intimacy and full commitment. If I'm correct that much of this is her imagination, her desires create a conflict between what she wants and what is possible at this stage in their relationship—a common tension many of us experience.

Their love is strong and passionate, creating desires that are both beautiful and overwhelming. These desires, however, aren’t meant to be instantly gratified.

Romantic love is a gift, and it unleashes powerful desires.

Be careful about unleashing these desires too soon (2:7).

Consider verse 7, a crucial warning that is repeated later in 3:5 and 8:4:

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.

Romantic love is a beautiful gift, but it brings deep desires that should not be rushed. These desires require careful discernment and wisdom.

In recent weeks, we’ve seen the power of water. I’ve been reading about a hurricane that took place in Galveston, Texas, in 1900, a storm that flooded the city with 8 to 10 feet of water. I was shocked to read this:

Waves swept through his neighborhood… Each embodied a destructive power nearly beyond measure. A single cubic yard of water weighs about fifteen hundred pounds. A wave fifty feet long and ten feet high has a static weight of over eighty thousand pounds. Moving at thirty miles an hour, it generates forward momentum of over two million pounds…

Talk about power! Don’t underestimate the power of something as simple as a wave.

Romantic love is like that. Don’t underestimate its power. It’s sacred and powerful, and it should be treated with the utmost respect and intentionality. Its immense power calls for thoughtful stewardship, not impulsive indulgence. While love and intimacy are unquestionably good gifts, their proper context—marriage—ensures they can be fully enjoyed without harm. Likewise, sex, an incredible gift from God, is intentionally designed to flourish in the safety and commitment of marriage. Do not rush into this sacred space before its time. Love should not be awakened prematurely, but rather allowed to mature and carry its physical and emotional significance within God’s intended covenant of marriage.

I like how Jim Hamilton puts it: “People who believe what the Bible teaches about sexuality are sometimes viewed as killjoys, as those who won’t let others have any fun. That’s not it at all! We want people to have the most pleasure with the least regret.” That’s why it’s important to not unleash these desires too soon.

Here’s what this passage teaches us: Romantic love is a gift but creates powerful desires that shouldn’t be unleashed too soon.

Friends, God created romantic love and sexual desire. It’s a gift, and it’s a powerful one. God is for it.

For singles: be careful about rushing into this gift, because it’s powerful once you do. Don’t play around with this gift. Take it seriously. Picture a fence around an electrical transformer that says, "Danger! High Voltage!" It’s not that the electricity is bad; it’s good, but it has to be used carefully. Don’t take romantic love lightly, because it is going to unleash desires that will create tension in your life once they’re unleashed. Be careful about rushing into this gift.

For those of you who are dating: You’re living in this tension right now. Don’t be surprised that it’s hard. Your job right now is going to be how to manage that tension in a way that honors God. Get help. Take practical action so you don’t get swept away by what could easily overpower you. Be mindful of your desires and create strategies to ensure they don’t take you in the wrong direction until you can pursue them in a way that honors God.

And let’s be honest. We need God’s grace in this area. Some of us need grace because we long for the kind of intimacy described in this passage, and we don’t have it. Some of us need grace because we’ve failed in this area and have regrets. God’s grace is for you. As much as this story is a story about a couple in love, it’s also a picture of a greater love story. Ultimately, every romance between a man and a woman will disappoint and then eventually end, but there’s one romance that never will, and it can be yours no matter if you’re single or married and no matter what regrets you carried in with you this morning.

As one author says:

Christ is so infinitely sweet and beautiful and satisfying as to evoke a deep longing and a wild, mad desire. He wants us to love him with all the madness our souls are capable of. Human desire, human romance, crazy human love . . . all point us to something greater: Christ’s love for us, and the love he wants to give us for himself.