Freedom That Loves (Romans 14:13-23)

Big Idea: Because Christ laid down everything for us, we lay down our freedoms for one another.

Put two Christians together, and you are going to get at least two views.

• Is it okay to have a glass of wine with dinner? Some might see it as no problem; others may be recovering from addiction or see alcohol as part of the life they left behind.
• Is it okay to have a very occasional pipe or cigar? Some think it is a desecration of the body; others see it as an occasional indulgence in the Spurgeonic tradition, as Spurgeon once said: “I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God before I go to bed tonight.”

I could talk about many issues: how we use the Lord’s Day, our choices in entertainment and media, sharing our rights publicly, tattoos, school choices, and more. Put any two Christians together, and you’re likely to have strong opinions on each of these topics, and this can lead to conflict and division.

The question is this: How can believers with differing opinions on non-essential issues worship together without destroying one another? We’re not talking about issues that are neither commanded nor prohibited in Scripture, issues in which we have freedom, but that may lead to disagreement and conflict.

That’s the situation the church in Rome was facing, and it’s one that we face today.

Tension in the Church

Here’s the situation when Paul wrote this letter. Paul was writing to a very divided church full of both Jews and Gentiles, and the tension between these groups would show up every day.

Jews maintained strict dietary practices and observed the Jewish calendar with its weekly Sabbath and annual ceremonies, while Gentiles had no such traditions. Jews never ate unclean or unknown meat; Gentiles ate whatever they wanted. The Jewish calendar had a weekly Sabbath as well as monthly and annual ceremonies from the Old Testament; Gentiles had none of these.

Even if the Gentiles in the church tried to be careful about how they ate around the Jewish believers, the Jewish Christians might have still been wary of Gentile food and drinks. They might have thought that the meat had been given to idols or that the blood was not drained correctly.

This wasn’t merely a matter of personal preference; these were key boundary markers that shaped Jewish identity. So there would have been ongoing tensions, especially in two areas:

• Food: whether certain foods could be eaten
• Festivals: whether certain days or festivals must still be celebrated

These two groups were on a collision course, and the consequences when that collision occurred would be disastrous.

What do you do when you experience this kind of division among God’s people? I’m not talking about primary issues. We must agree on certain issues, matters of significant doctrinal importance that revolve around the truthfulness of the gospel and are essential for salvation. These are worth fighting for. I’m talking about secondary issues: matters that are not of primary importance but can still have a dividing effect in the life of the church.

Think of a time in your life when you have strong feelings about something. You might feel upset that other Christians don’t share your views. I’ve seen churches divide over these issues. How should we handle them?

Two Commands (14:13-14)

Paul gives us two principles. You’re probably going to like one of them and not the other, but Paul calls us to both of these principles, not just the one we like. Here’s the first:

Don’t pass judgment on others

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer…”

Paul is repeating a command he already gave in verse 3. Here’s what Paul is not saying. He is not saying to stop being a discerning person. We should give thought to ethical issues. We shouldn’t just go along to get along. Paul believes one side is correct and the other side is wrong. He is not telling us to just give up and say, “Who knows what is right?”

Here’s what he is saying, and he says it to both sides: stop focusing on the faults of the other side. Stop acting like God and looking down on people who think differently from you on issues the Bible does not clearly state, where we usually have strong opinions.

If you think something is right, it’s natural to look down on those who think it’s wrong as a bunch of legalists who are trying to squeeze all the joy out of the Christian life. If you think something is wrong, it’s natural to see others as a bunch of compromisers who love their freedoms more than they love God. Both sides do it. Both sides begin to judge the motives of the other and see them as the problem.

Here’s how Paul calls us to see them: as dear brothers and sisters in Christ who happen to disagree on a matter of secondary importance. You may think they’re wrong, but stop taking such a judgmental attitude and relegating them to second-class Christians rather than brothers and sisters in Christ. We all do it, so we all need to hear this corrective from Paul.

Here’s the second command he gives us:

Don’t practice your freedoms in a way that will lead other believers to sin

I imagine some people in the church would have appreciated Paul’s first point. “You tell them, Paul! They’re so uptight! They need to stop judging us for enjoying our God-given freedoms!”

Now Paul speaks in particular to the group that wasn’t as strict. In fact, that’s the group he is going to address in the rest of this passage. Is it right for them to enjoy their freedoms? Yes, Paul says in verse 14. They could eat food the other group thought was wrong. But that’s not the only consideration. Look at what he says in the second part of verse 13:

Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

In the Greek, there’s a bit of wordplay here. Paul uses the same word “judge” again. It goes something like this: “Don’t judge one another, but instead judge that you will never cause a brother to stumble and fall.” Focus the judgment on yourself.

The issue here isn’t mere annoyance or disagreement. Paul isn’t talking about when your freedom might irritate or offend a weaker believer, one who has a stricter conscience. If someone merely dislikes your choices, that’s their issue. He’s not saying that the most conservative position always prevails.

Here’s what he is saying: if your technically innocent action causes others to stumble into sin, don’t do it. Never use your freedoms in a way that will trip up another believer, causing them to sin and preventing them from becoming who they are supposed to be in Christ.

In other words, the issue isn’t only, “What is right?” That’s only part of the picture. The issue is, “What effect will my actions have on other believers?” If it annoys them, then you may or may not choose to go ahead. But if it trips them up and causes them to sin, then don’t do it. The Scriptural command is to never put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother or sister in Christ. Never put a stumbling block or occasion to fall in your brother’s or sister’s way.

When You Should Forego Your Freedoms

Believer, you have freedoms. Paul is clear in verses 14 and 20 that believers were free to eat whatever they wanted. In this case, the stricter party was wrong, and the Gentiles who believed that they could eat anything were right.

But Paul gives us three reasons why, even though you may have freedoms, you should sometimes give up our freedoms.

You should forgo your freedoms if they cause another believer to sin (14:15-16, 20-21)

Imagine inviting a new believer to your house for dinner. He was raised to believe that a Christian never drinks alcohol, and he still believes it. You have a different view. You see alcohol as one of God’s good gifts, one that was part of ordinary life in the Bible. It can be abused, but it can also be used well. You can enjoy a glass with dinner with a clean conscience, but he can’t. And so you pour a glass for you and a glass for him and tell him to relax. He takes a sip, and goes home feeling like he’s betrayed the Lord.

Who’s right? You are, on the issue. But you just led a brother to act against his conscience, and Paul says “whatever does not proceed from faith is sin” (v. 23).

Paul says:

For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.

The word “grieved” in this verse is strong. It doesn’t mean offended or ticked off. It’s stronger than that. It describes the kind of inner turmoil that one might experience at the death of a close friend or family member. If your choice of music or alcohol or food brings so much distress to a fellow believer that it might do serious damage to their faith, you should give up your freedom. Don’t flaunt your freedoms in such a way that would endanger a brother or sister for whom Christ died. To disregard a fellow believer's crisis of conscience is to make light of Christ's costly love expressed in the gospel. Christ died a shameful death to save the weak; we dare not overturn this profound act for the sake of a freedom or preference we want to enjoy. This is a direct contradiction to the gospel. It turns something that is good—freedom—into something evil.

Paul repeats this point a few verses later:

Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. (14:20-21)

As someone points out, if you believe you can enjoy more freedoms than those who have stricter consciences, then you have more options than they do. Use those options wisely. Use them not just to serve yourself but to serve others who don’t have the same options you do.

You should give up your freedom if it poses a danger to a brother or sister in Christ—not simply if they disagree, but if it brings them into a state of spiritual distress.

Here’s the second reason you should forego your freedom:

You should forego your freedoms if they disrupt the higher value of the kingdom (14:17-19)

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

What is better than exercising your freedoms? What is better than whatever freedom you want to enjoy and can enjoy if you choose? The kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is a higher value than our freedom, and that includes righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. The peace and mutual edification of the church are of much higher value than the enjoyment of our freedoms.

Put all your freedoms on one hand. Put the kingdom of God on the other hand, and all that comes with it: righteousness, peace, joy, and mutual upbuilding. If you had to choose, which is better? The answer is clear. We should always be willing to give up our freedoms for the surpassing value of the kingdom. It’s always worth more than our freedoms.

When should you forego your freedom? If it causes another believer to sin, or if it disrupts the higher value of the kingdom. The spiritual health of the church is more important than our freedoms.

There’s one more case reason you should forego your freedom:

You should forego your freedoms if you have any doubts (14:22-23)

The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

Paul says that there’s a difference between enjoying your freedoms in the privacy of your own home and enjoying them in front of others who may be hurt. It’s not wrong to forgo your freedoms when you’re in the presence of others who may be hurt by your actions, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy those freedoms when you’re at home. In the issue at question, it’s okay to not bring controversial meat to the church potluck if it would offend the Jewish believers, but by all means enjoy that meat at home.

But then Paul gives another guideline: live in such a way that you are not violating your beliefs and your conscience. If your conscience bothers you, and if you cannot use a freedom in good conscience before God, then don’t do it. Forego that freedom. If you act while doubting whether it’s right, you’ve already sinned in your heart, regardless of whether the action is objectively permissible.

The issue, in the end, is not about your freedoms. The issue is something much greater: the good of others. Here’s what Paul is saying in a nutshell: Because Christ laid down everything for us, we lay down our freedoms for one another. We don’t need to focus on our freedoms; instead, we can focus on loving others. To put it another way: Modify the expression of your freedom by the demands of love (Doug Moo).

Christ has purchased your freedom, but it’s not a freedom to live as you please. It’s a freedom to love as he did. He laid down his life for us; when we lay aside our freedoms for others, we follow a Savior who laid aside so much for us.