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Easum's back with some new books and workbooks. I've already picked up the PDF versions of Beyond the Box (book), as well as The Role of the Senior (Lead) Pastor and Staffing a Church, and Strategic Mapping (workbooks).

Easum simplifies the decision-making process for me. If he writes it, I read it. It's pretty much always what I need to be thinking about.

Here's an excerpt from Beyond the Box (co-written by Dave Travis, VP of Leadership Network), in honor of Rachel:

In the first century, the word church related to the kingdom movement that went beyond time and space. Instead of a place, Christians loved their Christ. Ask a Christian in the first century, "Where is your church?" and his or her response would be something like "Wherever two or three of us gather together."

The early Christians invited their networks to gather with them and other Christians in their homes, catacombs, or wherever. First-century Christians didn't have a tethered view of the church; rather, calling and mission dictated the form and extent of ministry. This is the view from beyond the box.

From within the box, the word church refers to little more than an institution with a geographic location that must be managed by professional leaders. From beyond the box, Christians think of the church more as a movement untethered to a location. The also think of leadership defined by mission rather than place.

Thus "moving beyond the box" means getting rid of the baggage of Christendom and rediscovering the original mission of Christianity - that is, fulfilling the Great Commission. The mission is not to establish local congregations as much as to spread the news of Jesus Christ across the world by every possible means.

The print version of Beyond the Box comes out in mid-June.

Posted by Darryl at 7:34 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

We hardly missed you.

Posted by Darryl at 7:13 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

This took about eight hours to put together, but the kids are loving it. Just got to spend a few more days taming our backyard jungle.

Posted by Darryl at 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

Again?

Posted by Darryl at 7:19 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 2 )

From the National Post:

A bull fulfilled long-held expectations this week when he escaped from a British stockyard and headed straight for a shop filled with china, scattering customers and collectibles like ninepins.

Posted by Darryl at 7:33 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Rachel's come up with a great idea - she's posted pictures of a bunch of bloggers. "You may know them via their blog," she writes, "but would you recognise them if you were in the same room?"

I couldn't help but notice that one significant but mysterious blogger was missing. This is just my effort to help. Do you think one of these could be his/hers?

Posted by Darryl at 12:23 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 3 )

I started Ann Lamott's book Traveling Mercies when I was feeling very indulgent. I was having a bad week, and I wanted to read something that would be soul food, but enjoyable. It ended up being both, more than I could have imagined.

When I found out that Lamott wrote a book on writing, Bird by Bird, I ordered it immediately. It came today, and I've been sneaking breaks to read it all day today.

I've heard Lamott say that there are books that are so good, you don't really care how bad your day is, because you know at the end you'll get to lie down and read. That's a pretty good description of how much I'm enjoying her stuff.

Posted by Darryl at 10:04 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 3 )

Bene Diction and Rachel have just marked blogdays. You may want to go and wish them well in their comments if you haven't had a chance yet.

Posted by Darryl at 7:27 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

Char blogs again.

Posted by Darryl at 4:44 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

The Maxwell marketing department has been bombarding me with information on Catalyst 2003, and I'm in. I've even got the crazy Catalyst flag flying on my car (to replace the Leafs one - won't be needing that for a while).

It's true that I've called John Maxwell a wuss and worse, but he's not the reason I'm going. I've been the past few years, and it's consistently been what I needed. It's also exposed me to some pioneers of the emerging church, and has stretched me in areas where I needed stretching. A lot of people may be suspicious of this event - it's big, it's run by Injoy, it's been held at a megachurch, it's too, well, not post-modern. Some of that is true, but it also misses the point.

Erwin McManus was there last year. This year, Ron Martoia (author of Morph) and Rob Bell, teaching pastor of Mars Hill, are scheduled to be there.

All that to say that if you live in the Toronto area and feel like going, we've got a van load of four guys going right now and we'd love to have you join us. E-mail me - we're going to have a blast.

Posted by Darryl at 3:09 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Posted by Darryl at 1:22 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

Spent the day today exploring some of the buildings open for Doors Open. Started at the King Edward (had to see the Crystal Ballroom, closed thirty years ago because of fire regulations; will possibly reopen in a few years), and continued on to St. James' Cathedral, the Gooderham Flatiron Building, Union Station, Canadian Broadcasting Centre (met Andy Barrie), the Roundhouse, and Commerce Court North (shown to the right), once the tallest building in the British Empire.

You really got a different sense of Toronto. It was like stepping back to a very different time. The Commerce building was a highlight, because we met the facility manager who was very passionate about the place. Construction took place during the Depression, but they instructed the architects to spare no expense, and they didn't. The replacement cost of this building alone would be about $280 million today. Compare that to your average tower that would run about a third of that.

Many other highlights. If you like architecture or history, you would have loved the day. Dead tired now, though.

"The most important doors open very rarely. If a city opens its doors, don't hesitate on the threshold. Walk through."

Posted by Darryl at 7:57 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Bill Easum: Jesus Was Always on Vacation

Too many of the pastors I meet these days look like they just stuck their finger in a light socket. They appear frazzled, dazed, and downright worn out. It is apparent they are working hard at something. To make matters worse, for most of them, whatever it is they are doing isn't effective. It is as if they are chasing either an illusion or their tail. In either case, they wouldn't know what to do if they caught it. More

Posted by Darryl at 8:57 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I asked Bill Easum a question about some of the church issues we've been discussing recently. I asked him to gaze into the future and predict how things might change. Here's his response:

Darryl, I think the mega movement will be replaced by the church planting and multiple site congregations and that the house church will flourish. I think the dislike of the institutional church will continue and the only way to overcome that is by developing real churches that love one another and are vibrant instead of what we mostly have today. As the church is today, it does not deserve to survive.

Posted by Darryl at 8:24 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 2 )

Finally added some new books to the resources section, after a six-month break. The four books I added have all been hugely helpful to me.

Posted by Darryl at 7:51 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

It is an occupational hazard of devout folk to become stuffy bores. This should not be. Of all people, we should be the most free, alive, interesting. Celebration adds a note of gaiety, festivity, hilarity to our lives. After all, Jesus rejoiced so fully in life that he was accused of being a winebibber and a glutton. Many of us live such sour lives that we cannot possibly be accused of such things…Our spirit can become weary with straining after God, just as our body can become weary with overwork. Celebration helps us relax and enjoy the good things of the earth. (Richard Foster)

Posted by Darryl at 2:37 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

A couple of years ago, one of our college students went to work in Camden, New Jersey for a week with Urban Promise. I'll bet that she didn't have a clue what God would birth out of that solitary week.

She came back with a passion that was probably already there, but which had become much stronger. She spent the next summer working with a new Urban Promise camp here in northwest Toronto, in what is now the most violent community in Toronto. She couldn't sleep a lot of nights thinking about the kids ("my kids," she calls them).

The church that hosted the camp was unavailable last summer. She asked if they could use our church building. Umm, yeah! Not a hard choice. They came, they sometimes destroyed the building, but they also opened our eyes. It was obvious that this was something that God was doing, and we were privileged to be along for the ride. We began to look for ways to partner with Urban Promise Toronto.

Today, I sat around a table with Colin McCartney, the Executive Director of Urban Promise, some staff, pastors, and social workers. There were only ten of us. I don't know if there was an agenda, but we ended up spending most of the time talking about what God has been doing. At one point, Colin said, "We don't control; we've given up. God's in control." They're not trying to build a ministry or churches. Story after story came out - sometimes with laughter, sometimes with tears, about what God has been doing with some of the most overlooked people in Toronto - overlooked, often, not just by society, but also by the church.

When it was my turn to speak, I simply said that Urban Promise is not just a ministry to the kids and parents they serve. It's a ministry to us. It's helped to move me, to move Richview, out of our insulated lives to where Jesus is walking. It's started to move us out of the Christian ghetto back to the places where Jesus liked to hang out when he walked this earth. We're only starting, but we are on our way. It all started with one of our college students, and who knows where it will end.

Colin repeated his core belief a few times: "Love God, love people, nothing else matters." That's happening today in three camps across the city, and it's exciting that we get to play a small part in that.

Posted by Darryl at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Excerpt from funeral service for 10-year-old Holly Jones, delivered by Father Daniel Utrecht, of St. Vincent de Paul Roman Catholic Church in Toronto yesterday:

One big question stands in the way of this - a question that comes to the hearts of many people. If God loves us so much, where was he last Monday night? Did he abandon Holly when she needed him? I'm sure it is all right to ask that question, but I am also sure of the answer. No. God did not abandon Holly. How can I be so sure of that? Because I believe in Jesus Christ - in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who suffered, died, and rose from the dead. We could ask the same question of him that we asked about Holly. Where was God when Jesus was suffering from a terrible, violent death? Did God abandon him...? Where was God? God was on the cross. Jesus is God...The one suffering on the cross was God. He allowed himself to experience the sense of being abandoned by the father...He has risen from the dead and has gone to Heaven before us to prepare a place for us. If he can experience the sense of being abandoned by God, you know he is with anyone who experiences that same sense - someone who is suffering, or in need, or who seems to be all alone. Jesus has shared in that experience and he is with that person. He was with Holly last Monday. I'm sure of it. He is with her still.

Posted by Darryl at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I'm pretty sure Jordon just called me a clown (along with others).

Posted by Darryl at 7:56 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

I've read a few blogs recently that have impressed on me the need for grace. I've found that in sharing ideas - sometimes wrong ideas that will change with a bit of a nudge - two things can happen: you get labelled, and those who are farther along in the conversation can get a little impatient.

For those who are farther along: stay patient, refuse to label, and give a bit of a nudge.

Much obliged.

Posted by Darryl at 3:27 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From jordoncooper.com :: more living, less punditry:

I think the problems of the church won't be fixed by trying to fix the problems of the church. It will be a committment to engaging the world and being Christ incarnate in it. As we focus on that, what happens to the institution becomes less important. Some of these ideas come from Pete Ward's visionary book, Liquid Church. You may want to read it.

Posted by Darryl at 2:24 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From ChadCanipe.com:

...[W]e allow ourselves to be deceived into thinking of the church as one of many 'good causes' which need our support and which will collapse if they are not adequately supported. If our 'evangelism' is at bottom an effort to shore up the tottering fabric of the church (and it sometimes looks that way) then it will not be heard as good news. The church is in God's keeping. We do not have the right to be anxious about it. We have our Lord's word that the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. The nub of the matter is that we have been chosen to be the bearers of good news to the whole world, and the question is simply whether we are faithful in communicating it. (Lesslie Newbigin)

Posted by Darryl at 9:38 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I'm getting more comfortable with option 3 below. It's not the lack of structure that bugs me as much as wondering if it would happen. I'm beginning to see that it is. I would need a little bit more than an intention to get together with other followers of Christ; I would want to know when. Then again, that's got more to do with my personality (INFJ) than godliness.

I'm so excited by this. I'm a little amused by those who think that this is so threatening to pastors because what if they had to give up their pastoring, what could they possibly do then? I love pastoring - often - but who would ever choose it as a career? (I know, a lot of people, evidently.) I'd give it up in a minute if I felt God really wanted me to. I'm really not that imcompetent in the rest of life that I wouldn't make a living. That's a pretty poor motivation for pastoring in the first place. Believe me, it's not the money and perks that makes it worthwhile. Not that the money's always bad, but it would take a lot more than money to make me want to choose this.

This discussion would have been almost impossible a decade ago. It's still stretching for a lot of us (although I haven't heard very much from the very traditional crowd), but I have to wonder what all this will look like in twenty years. We're definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Posted by Darryl at 7:23 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Jordon Cooper, Bene Diction, Mike Todd, The Heresy, Looking Back...Looking Forward, and more - all I can say is, Canadian bloggers rock!

Posted by Darryl at 10:02 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 2 )

From TheHeresy.com:

I think some of tension between the congregationalists and the church leavers is over the appropriate structures to fulfill the purposes of the church. In general the church leavers feel that informal interpersonal relationships enable them to more effectively be the church. They don't actually believe they are abandoning church but adopted a radically different form of it. The traditionalists have difficultly understanding how you can fulfill the purposes of the church without formalized structures. Even the earliest forms of church had certain structures in place. Their belief is if there are no structures you don't have church...

You need to read all of this - it's an extremely helpful post that puts a lot of the issues we've discussed over the past week in perspective. Many thanks, Leighton.

Posted by Darryl at 9:43 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From Canada.com:

The first Canadian case of mad cow disease in a decade was confirmed Tuesday, prompting the United States to temporarily ban beef imports from Canada.

Great. I guess SARS wasn't enough. Pestilence and plagues.

Posted by Darryl at 3:19 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Of all the ideas expressed in last week's discussion on the church, the most troubling for me were some that talked about pastors. I am one, so I suppose it's easy for me to get defensive, but the problem wasn't that the comments were unfair. The problem for me was that many of them rang very true.

Some people said or implied that pastors are on a power trip, that they claim to be God's spokespeople, that they are insecure, and so on. I know many fine pastors, but it's true - we're all a bundle of insecurities and mixed motives. The smart ones among us know it, but there are enough of us who don't that it can be scary. I wanted to shout last week, "But they mean well!" but the reality is that everyone means well. It didn't seem like enough of an excuse.

This isn't to say every pastor out there is bad. I know many who aren't. But of all the problems in the church - self-absorption, an over-reliance on programs, a drivenness to be "successful", bad use of money - I'm most concerned by this issue. The other issues can be resolved, but they won't be without the wrong type of pastor trying to lead in wrong and unhealthy ways.

Talk to me. Am I being too hard on pastors? Why were pastors seen as more of a problem than part of the solution in last week's discussion? What advice would you give a pastor on being the right type of servant in today's church?

Is there a role for pastors, for leaders who "watch over your souls" and who "know they are accountable to God" (Hebrews 13:17)? Or do we need a new understanding of church leadership, for lack of a better term?

Posted by Darryl at 2:51 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 3 )

This looks like it would be a cool place to call home.

Posted by Darryl at 10:24 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I love old hotels. My favorite hotels to date have been the Royal York and Le Château Frontenac, both part of the Fairmont chain.

I had never stepped foot in Toronto's oldest luxury hotel before this weekend. It's the King Edward Hotel, built to rival New York's Waldorf Astoria. It's celebrating its one-hundredth anniversary, and as part of the celebrations rooms are $100 - an amazing deal. We packed up and spent last night there.

It's nice, to a point. I love the history - everyone from Mark Twain to the Beatles has stayed there. It tries to be classy (no ice machines - ice is delivered, the first bucket for free, subsequent buckets $3 plus a tip), but falls down at points - dirty windows, little flaws here and there.

What I love the most, for some strange reason, is knowing that there's entire sections not open to the public. Three whole floors have sat empty for years. The Crystal Ballroom, "place where Toronto’s debutantes danced," has been closed since the 1960s. I'd love to have a master key and look around.

The King Eddy, along with many other fascinating buildings, is open this coming weekend for Doors Open Toronto. The tour starts in the Crystal Ballroom. Can't wait (although if you miss it, there's always this approach).

It was a fun and relaxing long weekend in what used to be Toronto's classiest hotel.

Posted by Darryl at 10:11 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

This is emerging as the question at Rachel's website. Here are some possible answers to this question:

1) The traditional or modern church - This seems to resemble an institution more than something living and organic. It's not doing well in most of the world, and many are checking out. When people talk about leaving the church, this is what they usually mean. There may be some life left in this type of church, but it doesn't look good overall.

2) New forms of churches - House churches, emerging churches, etc. This is looking a lot better right now, but it still doesn't cut it for others.

3) Informal groups of believers - Some seem to argue that if you're a believer, you don't need the institution (they're right), and sooner or later you'll end up meeting with other believers and that will be your church, whenever you just happen to get together. There's some truth to this, but it seems to involve a bit more intentionality in the Bible. I guess it can happen spontaneously, but it seems to have taken a lot of effort in apostolic times.

4) There is no church - The extreme view is that there is no it, there are only people. While the church ultimately is people, there still is something quite apart from individuals that forms when we get together - something organic and non-institutional, just like my wife and kids and I form something together and separate from what we could individually (a family).

I really have no problem if people leave the institutional church (option 1), even though I'm not sure that's the solution. I'm excited about new forms of churches (option 2), but I'm a little wary of options 3 and 4.

As I've participated in this discussion, though, I've been getting more excited. It seems like God is up to something. It's almost like we're living through the beginnings of another Reformation. Can't wait to see what God will do.

Posted by Darryl at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 7 )

Anyone else find the comments section the most exhilarating and most frustrating part of blogs?

Posted by Darryl at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 2 )

Found through Rachel: Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore.

An interesting article, but I have to admit my mind begins to boggle when he says, "Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship? That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven't found it yet." Probably because it's assumed. You can't find anything but believers committed to local fellowships of believers in the New Testament after Pentecost.

Posted by Darryl at 8:30 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I've been thinking a lot about Rachel's questions to non-church-goers. I want to express solidarity with them, to acknowledge in many ways that the church does suck. I want to say that even though I'm a pastor, I believe that we've become something horribly different from what God intended.

I agree with this, but yet I still find myself believing in the church. Here's why.

I believe the church has always sucked. Well, not always - it's sometimes stumbled into doing and being the right thing. The most incompetent person gets it right sometimes. But if you go back even to the very start, you find a ragtag group of people who can't get it together. They're supposed to leave Jerusalem to go to the uttermost parts of the earth; they stay until God drives them out. They fight and they sue each other; they teach and believe the wrong things; they ignore the poor and get drunk at the Lord's Supper. Jesus himself writes them angry letters not long after they start. It's hard to find a good church, even back then. But it's still clear that Jesus loves them. He stands at the door and knocks. He wants to come in and eat with them. That's not an evangelistic appeal to an unbeliever. That's Jesus' invitation to a church gone bad. Let me back in, he says. I want to share a meal with you.

I believe because I've gone so horribly wrong in my life, but God hasn't quit with me. I bought into the modern notions of the church, I've worshiped the gods of success and technique, but God seems to give me more chances anyway. God hasn't given up on me; it's hard for me to accept that he's given up on the lot of us quite yet.

I believe because I've been part of these ragtag groups of people who really do care. Sure, we get a lot wrong, but God loves us even at our craziest. I've pastored a blue-collar congregation of not much more than forty people, including some of the most idiosyncratic people you could find. The singing wasn't great, we didn't offer exciting programs, and the preaching wasn't always great. We weren't as evangelistic as we should have been, and I've got more than a few stories of how weird we all were. But we loved each other. They cared for me in ways that I can't begin to describe.

I'm now part of a larger group of people, and we're not quite as crazy. We're a bit more buttoned down. God is working with us in different ways. He's up to something even when we, the leaders, don't have a clue what we're doing. He's humbled me, sharpened me, challenged me because I'm part of a group that gets it wrong in different ways - not the crazy ways, but the more reserved ways - but we're learning. And every time I begin to give up, God reminds me that he can work whether or not I believe. He can work in spite of my disbelief.

Anne Lamott writes:

I saw something once from the Jewish Theological Seminary that said, "A human life is like a single letter of the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning." Our funky little church is filled with people who are working for peace and freedom, who are out there on the streets and inside praying, and they are home writing letters, and they are at the shelters with giant platters of food.

When I was at the end of my rope, the people at St. Andrew tied a knot in it for me and helped me hold on. The church became my home in the old meaning of home - that it's where, when you show up, they have to let you in. They let me in. They even said, "You come back now."

I don't disagree with the frustrations of those who follow God but don't go to church (there's the problem with language - church isn't a location or a building but a group of followers), but we lose something when we refuse to enter the brokenness of a group of others who are trying to follow God, imagining that we by ourselves could do any better. I know that I'm no better off than any of the crazy churches I've been part of, and when you get right down to it, I need them. That's why I still believe in the church.

Posted by Darryl at 6:59 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

It's Victoria Day weekend here in Canada. Brings back memories of the Friday of last year's May long weekend:

On Friday, our basement flooded because of construction on the sewer line. I spent most of the day and night cleaning up. On Saturday, more running around. Dealing with sewage is not my idea of how to spend a long weekend.

I didn't know it then, but it was the first of two sewage backups last year due to construction on our street. We're still out $500.

This long weekend has to be better.

Posted by Darryl at 4:50 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From Canada.com:

TORONTO -- A Toronto neighbourhood already reeling the slaying and dismemberment of a 10-year-old girl got another jolt when police said it is home to as many as 200 "potential sex offenders."

Residents of the west-end, working-class area where Holly Jones lived until her Monday evening disappearance were in shock yesterday after police said 200 people who live within three kilometres of Holly's home appear on Ontario's sex offender registry.

This is an unspeakable tragedy that hits even closer to home because our daughter goes to school not too far away. Knowing that a predator is loose, on top of 200+ sex offenders within a small area, is very concerning.

Charlene was toying with the idea of moving into that general area. She's now lost all interest.

When I first heard the 200 figure, I naively thought that must be for all of Toronto. It's not. It's within a small circle of a very large city - a circle that's not too far from where my daughter spends a good chunk of her day.

I drove by Holly's street this morning. I think I'll be feeling pretty sober the rest of today.

Posted by Darryl at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

This is why I like Bill Easum so much:

Never see your role to be that of a problem solver. Your role is a problem maker. Transition always causes problems, so stir the pot and don't let it settle! (May/June 2003 Net Results)

Posted by Darryl at 8:06 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Some good thoughts here.

Erwin McManus says that most churches have lost the essence of what it means to be a church. I agree.

I'm cautiously optimistic about more loosely formed groups of believers meeting to be the church. I think I'd want to read the pastoral epistles (Timothy, Titus) to recognize that there is a role for leaders. There's always a danger of throwing out too much in an effort to return to the essence. Buildings, programs, much in our churches that must grieve God's heart - good, let it go. But let's not think that two or three people who get together for coffee occasionally (as an example) is an adequate replacement.

Let the discussion continue! (I think Rachel should write a book...)

Posted by Darryl at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 4 )

10 things Google has found to be true

Thanks to Jordon for the link.

Posted by Darryl at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

In case you hadn't heard, the latest news on SARS in Toronto:

GENEVA, Switzerland (CNN) -- The World Health Organization on Wednesday said SARS is no longer spreading in Toronto, Canada.

Really, our daily lives weren't affected by SARS as much as by the effects of fear of SARS. Toronto was much different from what you saw in the media.

Some more good news:

CTV.ca News Staff -- The Rolling Stones might be giving Toronto some satisfaction. According to a report in The Globe and Mail, the group may interrupt a European tour to headline a free concert in the now SARS-free city.

Posted by Darryl at 8:05 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

"My coming to faith did not start with a leap but rather a series of staggers from what seemed like one safe place to another." So begins Anne Lamott's book, Traveling Mercies, one of the most honest books I've read.

She didn't start off very close to God. "Looking back on the God my friend believed in," she writes, "he seems a little erratic...God as a borderline personality." Her parents had no time for God, and her youth was characterized by both a spiritual longing and lots of drugs, alcohol, and guys, as well as some friends who saw past her junk.

"When Pammy and I returned to school in the fall of my junior year, terrible news unfolded: our English teacher Sue had become a born-again Christian...I told my father that night, and he was deeply sympathetic, since no one disliked Christians more than he." And so her life went for a very long time - more drugs, more guys and motels, very little sobriety.

"Then one afternoon in my dark bedroom, the cracks webbed all the way through me." She found herself calling a pastor. She doubted God could love her, but he said, "God has to love you. That's God's job." She reluctantly began to attend church, always leaving before the sermon, but the music started to get to her. "Something inside me that was stiff and rotting would feel soft and tender." Finally, one day she did stay for the sermon, "which I just thought was ridiculous, like someone trying to convince me of the existence of extraterrestrials, but the last song was so deep and raw and pure that I could not escape." She ran home to her houseboat and prayed a version of the sinner's prayer I've never heard before:

I stood there a minute, and then I hung my head and said, "F*** it, I quit." I took a long deep breath and said out loud, "All right. You can come in."

So this was my beautiful moment of conversion.

Lamott's life didn't become tidy all of a sudden. You'll either love or hate her account, but I love how simply and beautifully she writes.

On sitting beside someone on an airplane, who was reading "a book by a famous right-wing Christian novelist about the Apocalypse," a book she had previously reviewed for a newspaper:

"How is it?" I asked, pointing jovially to the man's book, partly to be friendly, partly to gauge where he stood politically.

"This is one of the best books I've ever read," he replied. "You should read it." I nodded. I remembered saying in the review that the book was hard-core right-wing paranoid anti-Semitic homophobic misogynistic propaganda - not to put too fine a point on it. The man smiled and went back to reading.

You're either mad or smiling as you read this. I'm smiling.

Later on the plane:

"Are you born again?" he asked, as we taxied down the runway. He was rather prim and tense, maybe a little like David Eisenhower with a spastic colon. I did not know how to answer for a moment.

"Yes," I said, "I am."

My friends like to tell each other that I am not really a born-again Christian...They think I am Christian-ish. But I'm not. I'm just a bad Christian. A bad born-again Christian. And certainly, like the apostle Peter, I am capable of denying it, of presenting myself as a sort of leftist liberation-theology enthusiast and maybe sort of a vaguely Jesusy bon vivant. But it's not true. And I believe that when you get on a plane, if you start lying you are totally doomed.

So I told the truth: that I am a believer, a convert. I'm probably about three months away from slapping an aluminum Jesus-fish on the back of my car, although I first want to see if the application or stickum in any way interferes with my lease agreement. And believe me, all this boggles even my mind. But it's true. I could go to a gathering of foot-wash Baptists and, except for my dreadlocks, fit right in. I would wash their feet; I would let them wash mine.

I'm still only partway through, but I'm enjoying the grittiness of her account. If you like what you've read so far, you really should pick up a copy and enjoy the entire book.

Posted by Darryl at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 2 )

Some weeks ago, one of my friends - someone I highly respect - sent me this e-mail:

Have a found a new favourite book on the spiritual life these past weeks: Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts in Faith. Very unconventional...almost unChristian...lots of swear words...I think you'd like it if you haven't already read it.

That was enough for me. I picked it up, and I'm loving it. I get the impression that the author would have fit in very well with the ragtag group of people that hung around Jesus. She's stretching me, shocking me, and making me laugh all at the same time. Highly recommended.

Posted by Darryl at 9:15 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 1 )

From the comments section of JordonCooper.com:

Christianity's greatest gifts have always been its purity and its value of people created in the image of God and welcomed in the mercy of Jesus. (Kyle Meador)

Posted by Darryl at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Today has been a good day, a day of grace. I guess every day is, but today I recognized it.

Posted by Darryl at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I got thinking about the post below. The reason it's hard to get upset about this is that there are so many grace-giving people at Richview. I had lunch today with someone who's been through unbelievable struggles the past few months. Despite his struggles, he was extra grace giving rather than extra grace required.

By and large, that's the reality of who Richview is right now, and that's a very good thing.

Posted by Darryl at 5:56 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

A friend spoke in chapel today. He did a great job, and said some complimentary things about me. Here's a conversation I had with someone after:

Her: It's great to hear that you've matured. I guess we gave up on you too soon.

Me: I don't know if you gave up on me too soon. You're going to a good church now.

Her: Well, we did give up. We were so discouraged. There were a lot of us praying that you'd either change or leave. It's good to hear the Lord has changed you.

Me: Well, I'm glad too, and I'm glad you're enjoying your new church.

At one time, I would have harbored all kinds of ungodly thoughts toward this woman. I know her pretty well, and now know that this is now par for the course in the ministry. If you're going to be a pastor, you're going to encounter ungracious people. One book calls them "well-intentioned dragons". The main thing to remember as a pastor is not to become a dragon in return.

I remember Joe Stowell talking about a member of his church saying, "Pastor, one of my friends heard you speak somewhere and they said how good you were. I told them, 'Are you sure it was Joe speaking?'"

Fortunately, after twelve years of doing this, this causes me to laugh rather than to cry.

Posted by Darryl at 5:10 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 3 )

Made a new friend yesterday over coffee - a church planter in Mississauga. Our paths have intersected a couple of times, and he reads this blog. He turned out to be a very cool guy.

The only drawback is that it made me wish I was involved in church planting. Maybe one day.

Posted by Darryl at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From jordoncooper.com:

I have some good friends who have gone through a change in their ministry lately. They have become a lot more complacent and less willing to risk anything and challenge the status quo. I had been wondering why until I heard that they had been given raises by their churches. All of a sudden courage has been replaced by caution and the desire to be creative has been replaced with the desire to maintain the status quo. The worst part is that it shows to more people than me. Sad and kind of pathetic.

A little harsh, perhaps, but probably a little more true than many of us would like to admit.

Posted by Darryl at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From Mike Todd, a couple of good posts on the church today.

"If the rest of my life is so exciting, why is church so boring?!?" (Jordon Cooper)

Posted by Darryl at 7:35 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From globalgirl:

"In times of change, the learners will inherit the earth, while the knowers will find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer)

Posted by Darryl at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From CNET News.com:

"This is another demonstration of Microsoft moving into new product areas to expand its revenue base," said IDC analyst Roger Kay.

Thanks to Sandy for the link.

Posted by Darryl at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

From The Globe and Mail:

National Post columnist David Frum -- a former Bush White House speechwriter -- has quit the paper, blaming the firing of two senior editors and editorial interference from the Post's owners for his decision.

And star writer Christie Blatchford also says she is pondering her future after the departure of founding editor Ken Whyte and deputy editor Martin Newland.

Things aren't looking good for the Post. I'm going to miss that paper once it's gone, if indeed it does go.

Update: Dave Frum does a good job explaining the significance of what's happened.

Update 2: A moving tribute by Christie Blatchford.

Posted by Darryl at 8:24 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

This is my first entry made using my Dell Axim Pocket PC on a wi-fi network.

Posted by Darryl at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Just got back from seeing A Mighty Wind. If you have a slightly warped sense of humor, especially if you liked movies like Best in Show or Waiting for Guffman, then you need to see A Mighty Wind. The only drawback of seeing it in the theatre is that you're thinking about all the extra DVD features you're not seeing, which are sometimes the funniest parts of the movie.

Posted by Darryl at 3:53 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

My Dad turned 82 today. I just talked to him on the phone. He sounds great. He laughed a lot. His memory is still shot, but I have a feeling that the meals we have delivered are making a difference.

Happy birthday, Dad.

Posted by Darryl at 1:40 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Telemarketers are driving me crazy.

Posted by Darryl at 1:19 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

My friend Michael has a great column today:

I think those of us who have something of a public platform have a responsibility to admit our vulnerabilities. Because, in so doing, we might be able to help to normalize behaviour that is sometimes assumed to be strange and weak. So here goes ...

I'm one of those people who take SSRIs. Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors. The most famous is Prozac. I take Paxil, others take Celexa or Zoloft or one of a whole group in the family.

Posted by Darryl at 7:48 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Things I should do more often

1) Read books
2) Write
3) Doodle
4) Dream
5) Date (my wife, in case you were wondering)
6) Wrestle with Josiah
7) Date (Daddy dates with my daughter)
8) Laugh with friends
9) Exercise
10) Hang out with my brothers

Things I should do less

1) Read magazines
2) Attend meetings
3) Watch TV
4) Check e-mail
5) Stress eat
6) Tease
7) Get impatient
8) Sleep in
9) Stay up late
10) Accidentally delete e-mails

Posted by Darryl at 11:04 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

ALA | ALA Annual Conference to remain in Toronto

(Chicago) After lengthy discussions and consultation with international and national health officials about the occurrence of severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS), the American Library Association (ALA) Executive Board voted unanimously to keep the 2003 Annual Conference in Toronto, June 19-25.

This will tell you everything you need to know about Toronto:

(1) This is a leading news story in Toronto today.

(2) Twenty-five thousand librarians are living more dangerously than John Maxwell.

Okay, I'll leave John alone for a while, I promise.

Posted by Darryl at 6:11 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

TheStar.com - Esso cuts gas price to 49.9 cents a litre

Doing its bit to fuel positive sentiment in SARS-weary Toronto, Imperial Oil is slashing its price for regular gasoline to 49.9 cents per litre in the city this weekend.

Suddenly the sting of John Maxwell not coming isn't so bad.

Posted by Darryl at 4:40 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

Jordon's getting convicting again.

Posted by Darryl at 2:33 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

We've decided to make the switch from PowerPoint to Easy Worship. Easy Worship has a lot of the features that we've been looking for - nursery paging, direct import of Scripture and songs, and the ability to edit on the fly, to name a few. If you're a church that's getting tired of the limitations of PowerPoint, you may want to investigate Easy Worship. If you're in Canada, you can get it through ackland.ca.

Posted by Darryl at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

NATIONAL POST

The Company appointed Matthew Fraser as the new Editor-In-Chief, replacing Ken Whyte, who has been editor of the National Post since its launch five years ago.

Not sure what this signals for the newspaper. It's always funny reading corporate news releases. Makes me want to re-read The Cluetrain Manifesto.

Update: Colby Cosh weighs in.

Posted by Darryl at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )

I risk outing myself as a sentimental old sap with this post, but I'm prepared to take that risk. Today is May Day, my favorite day of the year. Fourteen years ago today, I started as student pastor of a church. It was the summer that everything went right. I found out that I love pastoring; I reconciled with a brother (I had held a grudge for a while); I lived in the most beautiful part of Toronto and walked High Park almost every day; I fell in love.

It was the type of summer they make movies about. My life that summer followed all the movie formulas to their predictable conclusion. It was the first summer that it really hit me how beautiful May 1 is. You can argue whether or not spring has started in April; there's very little doubt on May 1.

I almost missed it, but I'm glad to see that May is finally here.

Posted by Darryl at 6:26 PM | Permalink | Comments ( 0 )