Here is another definition of forgiveness from Thomas Watson's old book A Body of Divinity:
Question: When do we forgive others?
Answer: When we strive against all thoughts of revenge; when we will not do our enemies mischief, but wish well to them, grieve at their calamities, pray for them, seek reconciliation with them, and show ourselves ready on all occasions to relieve them.
I think this is a very biblical definition of forgiveness. Each of its parts comes from a passage of Scripture.
- Resist thoughts of revenge: Romans 12:19, "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord."
- Don't seek to do them mischief: 1 Thessalonians 5:15, "See that no one repays another with evil for evil.
- Wish well to them: Luke 6:28, "Bless those who curse you."
- Grieve at their calamities: Proverbs 24:17, "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles."
- Pray for them: Matthew 5:44, "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you."
- Seek reconciliation with them: Romans 12:18, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
- Be always willing to come to their relief: Exodus 23:4, "If you meet your enemy's ox or his donkey wandering away, you shall surely return it to him."
Note: none of these commands in Piper's list seems to be conditional.
Hi Darryl, I just don't understand the ability to enact full forgiveness without repentance. Suggesting you can seems to minmize repentance. Repentance is important because it's a person's only hope for real change (Matthew 18:3; Acts 26:20). If we don't admit our sin, it's impossible to be transformed. If we aren't keenly aware of the sinful direction our lives are going, we will not see a need to adjust the direction.
I agree that we need to always love and that will lead to all those 7 points you listed. Is doing this fully forgiveness? I'm not there. There are several solid theologians how would take this position. I was wondering if you were going to address their position.
BTW, if you read the last section of that Piper article, you'll find that he doesn't affirm that we can truly forgive without repentance.
BTW, great topic.
Jacob,
I agree repentance shouldn't be minimized. The offending party will never be transformed if they don't repent. The question, though, is how to respond to someone who wrongs us and won't repent. A lot of the answer has to do with how we define forgiveness. If the definition above is correct, then forgiveness isn't conditional upon their response.
Actually, I like where Piper ends up on the issue at the end of the article: "forgiveness of an unrepentant person doesn't look the same as forgiveness of a repentant person." I agree. "We can still lay down our ill will; we can hand over our anger to God; we can seek to do him good; but we cannot carry through reconciliation or intimacy."
I will still return to arguments for or against; believe it or not I haven't even got to that point yet! I'm getting ahead of myself.
Timely discussion for me. I have someone very close to me that I have had a hard time to forgive. I had a hard time doing that, instead, what I focussed on was other negative things that person had done. Really struggled with that. Kept coming to God with it and He broke me down and I realized my biggest problem was my unwillingness to forgive. I then realized that on top of forgiving that person, I also had to love unconditionally. Man, is that hard, especially when you don't see repentance coming from the forgiven person. But that I have to leave up to God, and I will continue to pray that He might bring conviction to the person, leading to the repentance Jacob speaks of.
OUR willingness to forgive others is not predicated upon THEIR willingness to repent. Whether they repent or not is THEIR choice. We are merely commanded to forgive them.
If they repent they are also released from the consequences of their actions. But, even if they don't repent WE, at least, are set free from the chains that bind us to them and give them the power to continue to affect us negatively.