I've been thinking recently about church leavers. A few years ago, I came to understand why some have left the church. As Reggie McNeal says, some leave not to abandon their faith, but in order to preserve it. I get that now.
So I have a sympathy for those who have chosen to leave the church not out over petty issues, but because the church looks so little like the church of Jesus Christ. I think I understand these church leavers because Jesus threatened to leave some churches too (Revelation 2-3).
So I do have some sympathy for those who left the church - but I have concerns too. I'm concerned about individualism, which assumes we can go at it alone. I'm concerned that we define church so poorly - a building or church service isn't a church; some congregations may think they're churches but they're really nothing more than slick shows and an audience. On the other hand, completely liquid churches (occasional, irregular meetings with no commitment; randomly bumping into each other at Starbucks) isn't church either. (More on what a church is later.)
My main concern is from reading books like Resident Aliens, and listening to people like Jim Grier, and, of course, the Bible. What we really need are not isolated Christians, but an alternate communities that exemplify the Kingdom and the Kingdom's values - communities of radical love and forgiveness. I know it sounds naive, but if someone asks what the Kingdom of God is like, we should be able to point to a group of people and say, "There. They're not perfect, but that is a little of what the Kingdom is like."
So I agree with what Mike Frost says in Exiles:
Exiles will not sit in churches passively and put up with the phoniness, but neither will they simplistically take their bat and ball and go home. Too many people, alienated and angered by the contemporary church, have just left, contributing to the decline of the Western church. Exiles might leave (or be thrust out), but if they do so, it will be to forge the way, to fashion communities of honesty, openness, hospitality, and genuine love...
Exiles, sick of mainstream churches but tired of going it alone, have to embrace the challenge to fashion collectives of exiles and lead them into mission....Whatever you do, be prepared to lead others into a deeper communion with each other and with God. Before you know it, you might have fifteen people, and not long after that you might end up with more than a bunch of people. You might have a collective of exiles bound together by a common cause. Dare I say it? You might even have incidentally planted a church.
So I have sympathy for church leavers - but if you can't find a true church around you, that is a community of radical love and forgiveness and a reflection of Kingdom values, maybe your calling is to start one.
P.S. Just noticed that this is my 2,000th post. Just went back and read some of the early comments from five years ago - there are 4,861 comments now. Some of the early commenters are now friends. It's been a blast.
Darryl,
I am a church leaver and I'm very concious of my 'take my ball and bat and go home' mentality.
That said, I just can't agree. When I looked at my church's budget 85% goes to salary, building, and debt. I'm struggling to see Kingdom principles in this.
The fear of questions drove me crazy. I have a lot of questions about hell, salvation, praying the prayer, gay marriage, inerrancy, infaliability etc. etc. Church was the last place I felt safe brining those questions up.
Then comes the anger. I'm angry church is like this and it makes me a worse human being and a much worse Christian. Unfortunately, there's not much more of an option then going it alone. Anyways, just thought a perspective from a church leaver would be helpful.
Rob
Rob,
I hear you on your concerns re: brick and mortar churches. I think it sometimes takes time as well to "detox" from some situations before moving on to something else.
I just hope that those who no longer find their home in traditional churches either join or form other communities, as simple as they may be. I know that won't be an overnight thing.
Keep talking - this is good.
Hey Darryl,
I think your clarification of Bricks and Mortar churches is a helpful one. I'm really wondering if the Bride of Christ isn't a lot bigger, broader and more inclusive then the evangelical label will allow.
Rob
"I'm really wondering if the Bride of Christ isn't a lot bigger, broader and more inclusive then the evangelical label will allow."
How broad do you think it is Rob?
Remember what Christ Himself said?
Matthew 7: 13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Only a few.
George:
Jesus taught that there are going to be a lot of surprises on judgment day, and I'm not sure the label "evangelical" is going to help us much then.
Evangelicalism has only been around since the 18th century. While I'm an evangelical, my confidence is in Jesus, not evangelicalism.
Darryl, I totally agree with you, its not about any label, its about who is in Christ. He who has the Son has life, He who does not have the Son does not have life.
The thing is, these days there are so many who profess to follow Christ, that do not believe that. They will say that you can reject Christ and still find the kingdom. The narrow road really isn't so narrow anymore. Don't worry about sin, God is love. That is increasingly the message I read on liberal and emerging blogs.
What it always comes back to is the authority of Scripture. There are many who profess Christ, give Him lip service, who are not willing to be under the full authority of Scripture.
Its interesting, because the Bible tells us that is exactly what will happen in the last days.
God's Word is amazing and it never changes.
I read this post and thought you might be interested in a web project I am involved in called Letters from Leavers in which people who have left the Church can write a "Dear John" to the church.
check it out at http://lettersfromleavers.com