DashHouse.com

Man, I can beat that. I was walking along the beach a few weeks ago and I saw this bee in the sandy. Huge wide beach. Not a soul there. (picture the "Footprints" poem) I walked about a mile down the beach, and walking back STEPPED on the same bee. Doh!

My brother is SO AFRAID of bees that he avoids our front door because last year there was a bee hive there. He hasn't even been stung. Maggi eats bees and wasps. You can hear them buzzing around in her mouth until she swallows.

An article in “The Garden News” reports that a lawsuit brought by Pastor Darryl Dash against one Ms. Honey Bee for an alleged unprovoked assault was dismissed today by Judge Hyacinth Bloomsgrove.

In his Statement of Claim against Ms.Bee, Pastor Dash said that she “wounded him to his very sole” while he was out taking a walk, but Judge Bloomsgrove found that, far from being unprovoked, the assault was in fact a legitimate case of self defence when Pastor Dash unintentionally stepped on Ms.Bee.

Through her lawyer, Ms. Bee explained that she was minding her own buzziness, when out of nowhere this “King Kong-looking thing” walked on her head, so she retaliated in the only way she knew how.

“Pastor Dash doesn’t have a leg to stand on,” said Judge Bloomsgrove in her summation.

A counter-suit by Ms. Bee against Pastor Dash for damages was also dismissed when Judge Bloomsgrove noted that, by her own admission, Ms. Bee lost her head in the heat of the moment.

Arthur - that's hilarious! Brilliant

I seem to recollect that my own encounter with bees last summer was met with a similar lack of sympathy by certain members of my family.

For those who might have forgotten, and for those who never heard the story to begin with, the sordid details are as follows:

A customer asked me to mow his lawn and trim the weeds behind the barns in preparation for the sale of his small farm. As nobody had been living there for several months, the grass and weeds were quite overgrown.

I diligently mowed the grass - twice, because it was so long. I bagged the stuff and loaded it all onto my trailer. I then cleaned up some garbage that had been left behind and which was in the way, preventing me from doing what I hoped would be a quality job of trimming the weeds behind the chicken runs and the barns.

It was during this trimming that I came across a hive of bees in a hole in the ground, a hive which was hidden from my view by the height of the weeds around it. Maybe the resident bees thought that the buzzing of my weed-whacker was a huge bee making a pass at their women. Maybe they thought I was intent on destroying their hive. I don't know what motivated them, but I do know I was nailed three or four times by the little..... buzzers.

All of which was apparently very funny to the guy who was then my assistant. And all of which, upon the recounting of the tale, was met with peals of laughter from everyone I described the experience to. Perhaps it was my indignation, or perhaps it was the mental image of me doing the hundred yard dash in less than ten seconds while juggling a still-running weed-whacker that people found so hilarious, I'm not sure which.

Look, I know that we Dash males tend to be built for comfort rather than speed. I know that our trunks (bums) are somewhat larger than our engine compartments. (and my trunk was the recipient of two particulary painful stings!) I know that we tend to be Dash by name and not by nature. I just didn't think the image of me doing the dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, (as it was described to me by a member of my own immediate family,) was all that funny!

And, no. I don't know how, or why, I was so intent on passing that weed-whacker from hand to hand without it shutting down, all while I was swatting at the perpetrators of the assault on my dignity with whatever hand was free at the time.

Dang! It doesn't look like I am going to get much sympathy here either!