Char's Blog
December 2004 Archives
Observing the suffering of those you love is a most difficult part of living and loving. To actively participate in the alleviation of a loved one's suffering brings a sense of purpose to the assisting one. But, to be in such a place that the observing one is unable to participate, is an agony unto itself. Such has been my pain over the daily struggle of my Dad & Mom.
In recent days this agony has been renewed through the small pieces of information concerning Colin's accident. My heart, fully exposed, has desired a fellow suffering companion. While others have rushed to pray for healing I have ached for similarity. I want to shout, "It has to be the same. There is no hope for anything other." Selfish heart.
When I last posted on this, I received an email encouraging me to not question, but receive in faith, the will of God. It was a truth I was not ready to assimilate into my heart. Incredibly, the grace of God is willing to wait, to suffer through the passage of my unpreparedness.
But today, it seems, is the day appointed by God, for that to change. Today, I AM speaks to my heart through his recorded words.
"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?... This is what the LORD says- the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:... do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it." Isaiah 45:9,11,12
Believe. Have Faith. Even when there is no evidence of good in sight. Even when there is nothing I can do to relieve the suffering.
There is nothing inside of me that is able to display this faith in my own power. But I must respond. Either I turn my back, as I did before, or I step out, walking through the door of truth, believing that He can do in me what I cannot do on my own.
My thanks to the many family and friends who have encouraged and supported me in my struggling journey thus far and to Oswald Chambers, "My Rainbow In the Cloud".