How to Cope with Not Attending The Gospel Coalition Conference

Tomorrow marks the start of The Gospel Coalition Conference in Chicago. Everyone important - I mean everyone - is going to be there. The talent pool is so deep that they put D.A. Carson on announcements. That's how awesome this conference is.

You're not going? Take heart. There are definite benefits to not attending:

• You don't face the imminent danger of D.A. Carson rapping.
• You won't have to choose between the Acts 29 and PCA dress codes. Seriously, how do you pack for these things?
• You won't face the difficult decision when packing of choosing between your ESV Study Bible (calfskin edition) or your iPad with the ESV Study Bible app.
• You won't be crushed if you meet one of your Reformed heros and it turns out he's never read your blog.
• You won't get caught in a mad fight between those who believe in small pox inoculation (à la Jonathan Edwards) and those who don't.
• You won't have to worry about committing a major faux pas, like asking, "Can you tell me where the Bill Hybels workshop is begin held?"
• You won't have to line up for dinner, or for John Piper's autograph for that matter.
• You - yes, you - can help repopulate the doctrinally correct part of the earth if those pacifistic Anabaptists lay siege to the conference, and things go downhill from there.

And by the way, you're still important even if you're not attending. Kind of. So soldier on, even though you're not attending. There can only be so much awesomeness in one place. And don't forget that you can watch the plenary sessions live here.

Comments

[Jennifer Ekstrand]

I suppose we can take comfort in reduced risk of back injury from the free books we would receive if we were attending Band of Bloggers too.

[Israel Sanchez]

"You won’t have to line up for dinner, or for John Piper’s autograph for that matter. "Ditto on Piper's autograph, but man it would be cool to go.

[Ian Clary]

Hahahahaha, this is brilliant.

[Book Seller]

I respect many of them but these kinds of aggregations sound more like a great line-up .....for a one-sided dialogue... ergo: reformed back patting. Just sayin'.. ;)

[Lawson Hembree]

Well played.We also won't have to worry about: -Holding our breath every time the elevator opens hoping our favorite speaker is inside. -Getting carpal tunnel from tweeting all the great quotes. -"Laying down our life for our friends" in hope of saving great seats.

[Len]

I too have escaped back injury from the lugging of dead trees.. hey Daryl, time for a coffee - are you out toward Kitchener next week?