Called to Be Tired?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010 at 5:00AM I absolutely loved the article "To Serve Is to Suffer" by Ajith Fernando last month. A sample:
The New Testament is clear that those who work for Christ will suffer because of their work. Tiredness, stress, and strain may be the cross God calls us to.
You should really read the whole article. It's worth your time.
I loved Fernando's article. So how do you explain that I like this post by Dave Kraft as well?
I believe the solution to the epidemic of tiredness is not all that complicated:
- Learn to say no.
- Intentionally slow down.
- Think strategically when you make decisions as to what you will do or not do.
- Simplify your life by de-cluttering your busy schedule.
So is being sometimes part of our calling, as Fernando says, or is it because we're doing the wrong things?
An anonymous pastor posted a comment here on Saturday:
Who should I have said “no” to this week? The 11 year old girl in the hospital with kidney disease? The heart attack at the hospital at 1:00 a.m? The schizophrenic in depression who called me at my home at 9:30 p.m? The member of our church on welfare who needed money for groceries, and prayer regarding her psychosis? (Standing in the lobby of her ill maintained apartment building watching cockroaches, makes it hard to say “Next time I’ll just say no”. The reason she needed grocery money was because she had put a “down payment” on a portable air conditioner). The frightened abused wife going to divorce court, who didn’t want to be in the same room with that man without support? The young man in criminal court who deserves more than what his sentence was but whose parents are beside themselves trying to figure out how to help him? The couple needing marriage counseling? The planning meeting with a church leader? Lunch and prayer with my friend? Or maybe I’ll say no to the church about preaching tomorrow. Not every week is like this one of course, but my point is that it is hard to know who to say no to. Some of these meetings were planned ahead and the appointments were kept. The others came up as emergencies. Sometimes even Jesus had to change His mind about getting away. But some ministries just seem to be a series of emergencies and it is hard to know how to respond. I do not resent my work. I do not harbour ill feelings to my very needy people. But I do wrestle with solutions that make it sound very easy to make decisions like this.
This is far from an academic issue. And it's part of what I've been wrestling through since my sabbatical started.
Is Fernando right, or is Kraft? Or is this just part of the tension of ministry? I'm interested in your thoughts.
Reader Comments (9)
In an ideal sense, the series of emergencies described above would be handled by a community of people and not just one pastor. It's ideal because many people don't have a group of like-minded and like-hearted people to which they can refer such needs. But I bring it up anyway because I have strived for years to form a community around me of like-motivated people. I stumbled into the vision for community to meet needs. A friend of mine saw the world in this way, and he considered me a part of his circle. But I've lived the past few years of intense ministry with his very strategy.I don't mean this as an "answer" or "fix" to everything, or to wave away the dilemmas of anonymous pastor. But I do mean it as a "true testimony." I ran a incarnational urban ministry for years. My strength - not just my help, but my strength - came from something I often forgot to mention in my public speaking and sermons. My strength came from having a bunch of like-minded, like-hearted people around me. It took years, many years, to build those relationships. Yet I got to the point where I would do this a lot:Person at my front door: I need a ride to some place. My car broke down / I got kicked out of the house / I have no money / etc.Me: Can you go down the street to such and such a house? Ask those guys. They can give you a ride. If not, go over to the next block to XYZ's house. They can do it. If neither can do it, come back to me and I'll do it.In most cases the person got their ride from one of the other two houses. In very few cases did they return to me. When they did return, I gave the ride.One more thing: That worked also because there were many people who were up to something else besides getting a ride. This scenario I created helped to weed out shady circumstances from legitimate needs. It also worked because there were many places in town from which a person could get help of some form or another.That's just one example. Certainly there are times when it's the pastor that people want and not just any person. Some things only the leader can do. I pray for anonymous pastor, that a team of peer workers - not advisors or supporters, but actual co-laborers - will come alongside him.
I think they're both right. Of course, we should discipline ourselves in our schedules. We must have the courage to say, "no." Some of our fatigue is our own fault.Still, we are called to the way of the Cross. We ought not to be surprised at the painful trial we are suffering as though something strange were happening to us, but rather rejoice that we participate in the sufferings of Christ so that we may overjoyed when his glory is revealed (1 Peter 4:12 ff).I don't suppose I'm the only pastor that struggles both in being disciplined about my schedule and in rejoicing that I share in the sufferings of Christ.
I agree with both comments. I think this is an issue you can't map out on a spreadsheet and find the "right" answer. I think it is a tension that we should live in day to day and make day to day decsions that will lead us in the way we should go. Sometimes we need to rest sometimes we need to suffer and depending on the day these answers will be different. The Holy Spirit will guide us as we live in community with other believers.Tough stuff! We are really wrestling with this right now. Many challenges with working part-time, church planting, and having four small kids.
Our church was generous enough to grant me a 12 week sabbatical this summer, and I was floored, upon reflection, at how often and unknowingly I was operating at around 70%. It wasn't good for me, physically and spiritually, it definitely was not good for my wife and 4 kids, and it was bad for the ministry as well.I think that's the wake up call in ministry, . . .it's that we're actually doing "bad" work, or not the kind of ministry God calls us to, when we're unrested, overcommitted, and trying to please folks.I sympathize with the anonymous comment above. . .(although, I will say, it seems like a care team is in order for the number of material and psychological needs he met in that week). And I loved the CT piece. I agree that we are called to seasons of suffering (every Easter week comes to mind :)) But, if you aren't balancing that with time away, if your elder board isn't letting you compensate for "lost weeks" like the one above, and if you're not going in late, coming home early, when you've had one of "those" weeks. . . . you're not serving your family or your church well. Your church will eventually suffer. Mine was.
There's a world of difference between suffering for the gospel and suffering for our own codependence and lack of boundaries. Until one understands addiction, brokenness, restoration and freedom in Christ, I'm not sure you can understand the subtle - yet huge - difference.When we start feeling - and we've all had these days/seasons if we're honest with ourselves - our value as persons is tied up in our productivity as ministers, we think it is our personal responsibility to answer every phone call and meet every perceived need. When we believe God means it when he says we are already loved and no longer need to worry about our place in this world, we can release the codependent attitudes toward work and allow the body to minister to itself.No one of us can do everything. That's never been the proper job description of the pastor. We aren't paid to do the ministry work of the body. Our role within the body of Christ is to equip and encourage all the members to do their parts. The tiredness - and even beatings - will still come, but they will come with a pure joy that doesn't have to be faked, not the destruction that leads to so much burnout.
The tension between these two values is enormous. I deeply believe that following Christ is a costly and demanding vocation, yet I also believe He calls us to do so sustainably and wisely (acknowledging that there are times we cannot). I believe that, just as Christ multiplied the loaves & fishes, He can sustain us beyond what is rational, but I also see that can become an over-spiritualization that might devastate the server, not to mention their family, etc. On the other hand, I believe that God call us to be wise stewards of our time & energy, yet this can all too often be used to turn away Christ in the least of these.So I agree with much of what has been said above. I also am deeply convinced that we need to see communities work together, not just leaders/pastors. This is a problem on two levels (at least). First, in so many congregations, the role of the pastor to do this kind of work is deeply ingrained in people (often even the pastor). Second, when looking at the larger scale (let's say a whole city), the distribution of resources and people are almost ALWAYS shockingly favouring the "haves" over the "have nots". This is why I am such an advocate of the book "Linking Arms, Linking Lives".I'll admit that I am sharing this in a time when I am an exhausted inner city pastor who desperately just wants people to work along side me. The few emerging leaders in our congregation are barely surviving financially with their very demanding jobs. As an unpaid pastor, even the idea of hiring some help is not within our means. I don't mean to complain, just state how strongly I feel this is an issue that goes beyond (though includes) the sustainability of individual pastors.
I do not question the statement that Christians can expect to suffer in life. Jesus made it very clear that would be the case and history has proven the point. However, the question I have relates to whether or not “called to be tired” is something Jesus would even necessarily designate as 'Godly" suffering.The question before us is “what is suffering in the biblical sense?” It seems to me the primary reason Christians will experience suffering is because of our identifying with Christ and the inherent belief system that we subscribe to which is diametrically opposed to that of Satan’s kingdom --- that being the redemptive work of Christ and the resulting desire to save souls.Being tired to the detriment of our well being would seem to fly in the face of God’s divine plan. He set aside a day of rest for people and a year of rest for the agricultural fields. Jesus knew when his disciples were tired and apparently sought to give them times of rest. Sometimes it did not work out. However, scripture gives us no idea how often they successfully had opportunities for "down time" --- Jesus knew the scriptures he knew about the day of rest --- in fact he instituted it.It is true that Paul knew fatigue, (we need to be careful we do not build a theology on the fact that Paul was fatigued), --- was that in God’s plan for him? Scripture tells us that God indicated to him early on how greatly he would suffer for the kingdom of God. Unquestionably, suffering for the gospel does bring fatigue --- that cannot be controlled although God will give the strength to persevere in such situations.Being fatigued from the poor use of time, trying to do too much, trying to be all things to all people, being embroiled in controversy’s is another issue. We can do much to handle this additional load of tiredness. If we don’t it is only a matter of time until we crash. Then we will be of no value to anyone!The unanswerable question in Paul’s case is how often did he increase his fatigue, anger and anxiety through poor human choices such as when he had a falling out with Barnabas. Who knows God may have even had to put Paul in prison so he could settle down to write some of his invaluable letters.We all need to know our limits, we all need to know how to live within them and we need ways of sharing the burdens of life appropriately so that will not unduly way down others. I believe that close Christians friends and small support groups are potentially at least part of the answer to that issue.We all need to seek to live within the mandate of God's guidelines for life.
Great comments, everyone. I really have appreciated the interaction. You've helped me as I wrestle with this tension.