Not a Dime's Difference
Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 8:00AM While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law.(Romans 2:21-23)
Scott Sauls, pastor at Redeemer, told a story the other week that's stuck with me.
A couple in a church lived together out of wedlock, and slept around on each other. They called their pastor and said, "We'd like to come in for some relationship counseling."
The pastor prepared his speech. He was ready to read them the riot act about their immoral behavior. He was going to tell them how they are using one another without committing to each other, how they're impure because they're sleeping around. No wonder they had relationship problems.
They came in. The woman was dressed in a miniskirt, and sat down right in front of him. As soon as the couple looked away, the pastor's eyes began to wander.
The pastor said later, "It was at that moment that I realized that there is not a dime's difference between me and them."
The more we get to know ourselves, the harder it is to look down on others. There's not as much difference as we'd like to think. We need grace.
Reader Comments (15)
But the pastor isn't following through as far. By all accounts he is cutting it off at the wondering eye stage and probably will even work at that.
Well that pastor was a perv and shouldn't have looked.
I think you guys are missing the point... The pastor is being a hypocrite. For example, if a teenager is watching porn, but if the pastor, who condemns such behavior, glances at images of girls in bikinis or secretly stares at women in an inappropriate way every now and then...who the hell is the pastor to say anything to the pornified teenager? I dunno, but if I was the teenager...I wouldn't be able to take the pastor seriously...
You are setting up a paradignm in which nobody can challenge anybody else on their sins.
Jacob: I hope not! We definitely need to challenge each other. But we need humility as we recognize that we are sinners as well. Galatians 6:1 captures this: "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."
Darryl, my comment was directed at greenstuff, not you. Obvioulsy I agree with what you are saying. My point was that if we can't challenge each other because we all have sins then we've lost a key part of true Christian fellowship and accountability and at the same time delighted many who hate the thought of being challenge over their sin.
So, I am walking down the street and a well-endowed young lady dressed in a mini walks toward me. I am a pervert if I even notice her? Or maybe even taking a second look to admire her? Given that definition, SHE falls into the category of the one who causes ME to stumble, and therefor "Woe unto her....!" The Pastor is not being a hypocrite, nor is he being a perv. He is simply recognizing that he is prone to the same sinful nature that he condemns in others. In humility and gentleness, he is allowing The Holy Spirit to lead him in changing his approach to the couple. "The more we get to know ourselves, the harder it is to look down on others. There's not as much difference as we'd like to think. We need grace." AMEN to that!
Notice her yeah right! Well, maybe you men don't know what it's like to be well-endowed and have men talk to your breasts every single day. If you shake them they shake their heads. I can tell you how demeaning it is.
Most women wear tight tops and cloths and plunging neck-lines, even in church too. So who's really to blame for enticing innocent men to lust! And besides like Art says there's nothing wrong with noticing a well-endowed woman!
I can't help notice the irony. This post is about recognizing that we can never look at another person and see their sin without recognizing our own as well. There isn't a dime's difference. And yet some of the comments are doing just that - looking down at others as if they are sinners and we are not. Men will be tempted, but it's wrong to treat women as objects and excuse it. Women do sometimes dress provocatively, and modesty is important - but this does not excuse men. There is no excusing sin. But - we are sinners too. In the end, we need to talk honestly about sexuality, stop thinking the problem is others, and begin to see ourselves as sinners who happen to struggle in different areas. Let's watch how we point the finger at others.
I guess it depends on whether you take a high view or a detailed analysis of the story.
Kim, there is a vast difference between noticing, (and maybe even admiring,) a beautiful woman and wanting to "jump her bones." Men, God help them, were made in such a way as to be "turned on" by what they see. Having said that, however, I do not condone men who overtly "talk to your breasts," but I do understand them. That is the way they they are wired. It takes a lot to overcome the temptation, (or the predilection,) to ogle. Thing is, you cannot lump every man into the same pot. The sin is not in noticing or admiring her, it is in what he DOES with what he sees. Even Jesus said "If a man gazes on his neighbor's wife WITH LUST IN HIS HEART, he has committed adultery,..." or words to that effect. Merely noticing or admiring her beauty is not in itself sinful. I can admire the Ferrari in my neighbor's driveway without wanting or needing to own one. I can recognize that, while it is a beautiful car, it is totally impractical for ME to own one. Given the power under the hood, it would also be beyond my abilities to even drive the car unless I had the training to handle it. Similarly, I can acknowledge that a woman is a beautiful child of God; that God has created someone who is very attractive; but that I am happily married and committed to both another woman and to God, and hence unavailable. I AM sorry Kim, that men have objectified you and demeaned you. May I ask, however: Would you rather be well-endowed and attractive, or as ugly as the proverbial front end of a bus? I hope that you realize that God made you the way you are and that you are uniquely and wonderfully YOU by His design. I'll be praying for you tonight, okay? Now, back to the original post: Recognizing that we are all sinful by nature and in need of Grace is the first step towards humility and accepting what Jesus did on the cross. It is also the first step in GENTLY restoring another to right-standing with God, (as Jacob pointed out,) without standing in judgement of his/her actions. "There but for the Grace of God, go I. I am no better than him/her, but maybe I can be the catalyst to bring them to a place of righteousness." As Darryl said: "There is no excusing sin. But - we are sinners too."
Well thanks Art, I feel like you're understanding and are gracious. Trust me my 36DD's have been both a blessing and a bane. Sometimes I feel like a walking temptation to men and I should just wip them out and say, "Get it over with and examine them so we can begin a real conversation!" Maybe you're right and I should better celebrate what the Lord has given me.
Trust me Kim,... YOU are not the temptation. The temptation is in their own hearts and minds. Forgive them,... they are weak, but it is a choice THEY make.
This post is about hypocrisy, just because someone like Kim is huge doesn't mean that she doesn't flaunt them or enjoy being oogled. Let's be truly transparent here. As if you've never paraded them or showed them off before, Kim? Muscle men work out in front of mirrors for a reason. Our sinful natures crave the spotlight.