Tuesday
Aug172004
Dad
Tuesday, August 17, 2004 at 6:20AM
Wow, the Internet cafes are a lot better than last time I was here. Real broadband, not dial-up in disguise. I picked the cheap hotel (two stars to be generous) because it had free broadband Internet. Yeah, sure, and I'm staying in the same room the Queen and Prince Philip use when they pass by. Whatever. Okay, I promised to say a bit about Dad. Dad is 83, I think, and has lived alone with no family or friends for decades now. He's happy. I don't know how he does it. Ironically, I think the dementia helps. He used to be moody, but he's happy pretty much all the time now. I hate to use victim language, but he didn't stand much of a chance as the son of alcoholic parents, one of thirteen kids. He's never learned how to sustain relationships, as evidenced by his two broken marriages (one of his wives died). I could go on. I've seen people overcome worse, but not without a lot of work, and God of course. Talk about the sins of the parents being visited on the children. Our family - I mean all of us - have paid a toll for the way my Dad is. I'm not sure any of us can fully explain it. Dad's old now, has dementia, lives alone, and has had cancer and other assorted illnesses in his past. A few years ago, we came to visit and found him collapsed in the bathroom. We don't live forever, and one of these days it will be the last time I see him. One more thing about Dad: despite the way he is, he's not a bad guy. Generous, excellent sense of humor, blah blah blah. How things had been different. (Although if he had learned to stay married, I suppose I wouldn't be here as the offspring of his third wife). Well, time to go see my Dad.
Reader Comments (5)
The older I get, the more I realize how my parents have influenced and contributed to the person I am today. Sometimes I am thankful, and other times I resent it. I can see that they too have become somewhat of a model of their parents. With that said, I am at times, overwhelmed at the task I have of raising my own children. Especially as it relates to their soul's destiny and my role in witnessing to them by my life. Thank you for sharing a bit about your roots Darryl and I look forward to hearing more about your travels. BTW, what is the time difference compared to us here?
Hi Peter .. how true what you say. I would modify your one statement by saying, sometimes I am thankfull, other times I resent it and other times I work hard to be the opposite (there's a story there, but it ain't my blog)
We're 5 hours ahead here. Peter, what you say is very true.
Darryl. Wow. I am humbled and a bit choked up here. Your empathy and outstanding parenting skills are all the more meaningful now that you've shared a bit of your background. I never even asked you, your visit was all about me.:^( I am genuinely sorry about that. I think victim language is appropriate... isn't it just coming to terms with understanding someone did the best they could with what they had... God love your dad Darryl, I hope you can do what is needed for him, sounds like it may well be the last visit. And God bless you as you try to tidy the details of his life.
I thank The Good Lord for the influence my Mom had on all our lives. She will probably be mortified that I am saying this on the World Wide Web, but I feel I must. Everything I know about Grace, Mercy, Love, Forgiveness, Kindness and Longsuffering, I learned from her. She is the most remarkable woman I have ever met. Her Godly influence offset most, if not all, the negative impact that Dad had on us as kids. I am extremely blessed to have Denise as my (step)Mom; and to be part of her family. I love and respect her, (and all my siblings and their families,) without reserve. As for Dad, well, I thank God for his influence as well. It was not always this way, but I can now see that God has used "all things together for good..."