Enduring Power of Attorney

If you ever have a choice, don't become an Enduring Power of Attorney for someone who lives on a different continent. I should be all set up to handle my father's finances in England, I registered the Power of Attorney as requested. I jumped through the hoops and should be able to do everything online. But it's pretty hard to get them to fully co-operate when I'm thousands of miles away. We're doing a two-week volley. I send a letter. Two weeks later I get a response telling me why they can't do what I ask them to. You should see my blood pressure rise when I open the mail. I should know better but I could swear they're inventing new ways not to co-operate. In reality, it's just bureaucracy. I also got a letter from the social worker saying that my Dad says he's doing fine. I understand why you have to listen to someone's self-evaluation, and I understand you can't force help on someone who doesn't want it. But why do we expect someone with dementia to be capable of evaluating his own abilities? I just launched the next volley of letters overseas. I'm hoping this one goes better.

Comments

[Brian Mullins]

You're doing a great thing, Darryl. You wouldn't believe how many sons in your situation would delegate the job to someone else, and to me that's incredibly sad. I used to serve mental incompetancy papers on men and women in nursing homes, picturing my Dad in that bad and wondering what I would do. Actually, I never wondered for long. You Dad seems happy in England, and in the long run it's probably better that he's living there and not in your guest room, right?

[Darryl]

There are days I wonder if it would be better to bring him over. I don't think we're quite there yet. Thanks for the encouragement, Brian.

[Ian Rutgers]

I think that email and snail mail are the most economical way to get things done, but not always the most efficient. While in your situation, face to face can't work (two different continents) .. we buy calling cards and do it by phone .. some calling cards offer fantastic rates to europe (and the carribean in our case). I do understand the trials of taking care of a parent (been there done that) and know you are doing it well.

[Luke]

Hey Darryl. Sounds tough. I can't be of much use as I'm in Australia but with legal correspondence we often scan a copy and email it - and then send the original by mail. At least that way you avoid some of the delay. Hope either way you get some proper help.

[free-adult]

adult free