Wednesday
Oct202004
Why are you always so busy?
Wednesday, October 20, 2004 at 11:33AM
Whenever I hear pastors brag about being busy, I sense that something is wrong. I've heard pastors talk about a good work ethic, getting in to the office earlier and working more hours than the average person in the church. I believe in a good work ethic, but I don't think it's smart to outdo others in being driven. It's easy to justify working harder than a workaholic, and that sounds noble to some. To me it's like trying to out-drink an alcoholic. I read this story in Sacred Rhythms today:
John, a young pastor in Denver, told me about a recent conversation he had with a businessman in his congregation. "Why are you always so busy?" the businessman asked. John, thinking his parishioner was looking for an accounting of his time, started to relate all the things he did that kept him constantly on the run - church commitments, committee meetings, family and friends, involvement in the community. The list was endless. "No, no," the businessman exclaimed. "That's not what I meant. Why are you so busy all the time? Don't you think God wants you to model a different way of life?"I love that last paragraph.
Reader Comments (12)
One thing that bugs me about "professional" type pastors is that they don't have any time to invest in people or Bible Study and prayer. Jacob.
Can you clarify what you mean by a "professional type" pastor?
Yes I agree with Jacob if he means a pastor who is just doing a job and not really shepherding.
For me, there's a difference between being "busy" and being "hurried". John Ortberg talks about "Hurry-sickness". Jesus was certainly busy, but he was never hurried. He understood the rhythms of life. I think the key is balance, and taking opportunities, making them when necessary, to sit and recharge.
ya, it's a great bragging point among clergy. insecurity reigns...
I started out in ministry with the wrong attitude. "I'll put in my 45 hours a week and then I'm done, I'm not going to be like these pastors that give up their families to do a job..." Until I had a conversation with a wise man I only met once. After I'd spouted off for a rather long time talking about how I wasn't a workaholic like so many pastors blah, blah, blah (young pride) He finally interrupted me and said..."so, what you're saying is...you ask your people to do what you won't do yourself." I was surprised, I thought I'd just impresed him, and then he told me something I will never forget..."You see, most of your people work their 40 hour weeks, many of them put in some overtime to make ends meet, and then come to the church and offer endless hours of service." He didn't say anything else, he didn't have to. That was the only conversation I ever had with him. I work more than some, I don't work as much as some. I gave up on "balance" a long time ago...it's not a reality...it boils down to this ...spend quality time with God...spend quality time with yourself...spend quality time with your family (if you have one)...quantity is not the issue...quality is! When things get terribly out of balance, and if you're a pastor they're bound to...(the job, people's expectations, distractions, the urgent will all make sure they do)..when that happens, take a break! - just drop it all and go, if not right away, the first chance you get - maybe it's just a walk, maybe it's a golf game, maybe it's a vacation - maybe you'll have to wait a little, but at first chance...just do it.
Ed, that story sets the bar by how hard our people are working. I can accept it if our people are leading sane lives. More and more, people are working 50+ hours a week. If we climb on the "I've got to work harder than my people" argument, where do you get off? I don't know what balance is, but quality time is just as unrealistic a notion. Kids and spouses don't respond well to it over the long haul. You and I have both counselled people who have lost their families because they thought they were giving them quality time. The problem with quality time is that you can't plan it; you have to be around enough for it to happen. I think we have to get back to modeling the life of Jesus, who worked hard but found rhythms that sustained him. When I start copying others and becoming driven, consistently overworking on my day off, I get into all kinds of trouble.
Ed, I think you've found your "balance" - it looks different for everyone. Someone once told me, though, that quality time is quantity time. You'd have a hard time convincing my wife that 10 minutes of conversation a day is "quality" time. To create that quantity time, I need to say no to some things and let people know what my time limitations are. Many pastors fall into the trap of saying that "I'll take care of the church and God will take care of my family." Even Billy Graham fell into that fallacy. My family is my primary ministry, so that get the best of my time.
II don't put in more than regular industry work week hours to compete or be like the people who are working 80+ hours a week...but I do more than regular industry work week hours because no one in our churches could hold a full-time job and then serve at a church without doing that. Again, if I'm asking them to add 5 hours to their work week and I won't what does that say to them? I disagree that quality is unrealistic. Quality is taking my children to school early and having 15 minutes alone with them in the schoolyard each morning to talk or chase them around. Quality is to volunteer occasionally in their class. Quality is being able to wrestle with them or do crafts with them several times a week. Quality is praying and singing with them at the end of the day most nights. Quality is making sure my wife and I talk at least a little every day and have some romance every week. Quality is time with God every day. Quality is to have enough time left over at the end of the day to read two or three chapters of a book or watch Law & Order. As Brian mentioned, I've discovered quality for myself...it doesn't look like everyone else's, but I wasn't created to look like anyone else. If these things are happening on a regular basis, then no matter how busy it gets, my soul is alright. Sometimes it gets out of whack, and I tip the scales as needed, first chance I get (sometimes it takes a while because church expectations often are unrealistic too - and we can say whatever we want but at the end of the day everyone wants results. But then the day comes like today. It's 11:52am and I'm typing this from my bed.
Ed, let me push back a little as a fellow struggler with this. I've met lots of people who claim to be giving their family quality time without the quantity. I've yet to meet one whose family would agree with that assessment - including, at times, my wife. I agree pastors should work hard, and I don't know many who put in less than 45 hours a week. But I think that one of our responsibilities is to model or at least work toward a life of wholeness and rhythm that is pretty rare in today's society.
I would agree that it's our responsibility to model and as you say, in the very least, to model a life of wholeness and rythm. However, what I've been trying to say is that there are more than one way to do that. And just like spiritual disciplines, it looks a lot of different ways to a lot of different people. I don't want to say that as justification for a busy lifestyle...but what works for me is not necessarily better for someone else, and vice versa. Secondly, there are more than one reason pastors are too busy, beyond the fact of being workaholics. The most common I'm aware of is unreasonable expectations or unreasonable workloads. I know this is sounding rather personal - I really don't mean it that way...but I really think at the end of the day, regardless of what your job description says, everyone wants "Full-Time" results with whatever you do. And at the end of the year...if the results aren't there you're not asked if you had wholeness and good rythms, you're measured according to the results. I commend you because I've heard you tell others not to bite off more than they could chew...but sometimes, in order to get something going you don't have that alternative. That's why I mentioned in an earlier post...sometimes the break needs to wait...the problem is when it never comes. Anyway, at the end of the day I think we agree on the issue, we disagree on the application of it and certainly as co-workers we have different practices. There's things that you would do that I wouldn't and there's things that I do that you wouldn't. And that's ok! Ok, you might not agree with that, but this is my last post on this one :)
Ed: You're absolutely right, there's more than one way to do this. It will look different in your life than it will in mine. I can agree with what you're saying. Although it's dangerous to tell you this, I don't know if we can ever blame unreasonable expectations for working too much. Every pastor lives with them, but I think we have to ultimately set our own agendas. There are weeks, as you say, you don't have a choice, but over the long haul, we can't let expectations drive us. "There's things that you would do that I wouldn't." I'm shocked! ;)