Thursday
Sep302004
Pastors and sexual ethics
Thursday, September 30, 2004 at 10:28PM
Pastors and Internet pornography:
Four in ten pastors online have visited a pornographic Web site. And more than one-third have done so in the past year. Those statistics from our Leadership survey have drawn startled response. From non-pastors: "So many!" From pastors: "Is that all?"One out of every seven calls received by Focus on the Family's care line for pastors is about Internet pornography. Another survey of pastors:
Since you've been in ministry, have you had sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse? Yes: 12 percent; no: 88 percent... [Of those involved in inappropriate sexual activity:] Did the church find out? Yes: 4 percent; no: 96 percent. Hmmm.
Reader Comments (11)
I realize this has been the hot topic of the week and so I understand the angle of your post. What I don't get is why people tend to put pastors up on a pedestal and expect them to be perfect. (I'm not knocking you pastors.) We are all human and we all struggle with sin. Lots of sins, and many of them the same as everyone else (esp. guys). You just need to read from the bible about the stories of people like Noah, Abraham, David, Jonah, Peter, Paul, and the list goes on. Ahh yesss, the life of a pastor, now there's a good post! Not too many real friends, other than fellow pastors. High expectations from elders and congregations. Spot light on their families viewed under a microscope. Expected to drop everything in order to deal with others problems. Not too many shoulders to cry on...and so on. I just want to commend you, Darryl...and Ed for really caring about the flock God has called you to lead and for being very faithful pastors. I encourage you both to follow Christ and His voice, and not on the demands we (parishoners) place upon you. Father, help Darryl and Ed to keep their feet planted firmly on You, the solid rock. Amen
An excellent resource for those trapped in this dangerous snare,is "An Affair Of The Mind" by Laurie Hall ,Tyndale.(Focus on the Family) It is the story of how one woman fought to save her family from the devastation of pornography.We passed this book out to the men at our Church.(and a few wives)very helpful.
this raises another scenario that we haven't touched on...who's an elder and who's a pastor. I know this is a divisive issue in our denomination, even to some extents in our church, but is a pastor the person who's hired with the title. Is an elder just that person who's elected with the title, or in the absense of an elders board; just the hired lone ranger? Why do I mention this - those expectations are established by in large only for the hired guns. Here's why I say this...anyone who shepherds a flock of whatever size is an elder by scriptures standards whether they have the title or not - whether a church recognizes it or not. I have thirteen small group leaders under me - more when you consider apprentices - every one of those people is a pastor/shepherd in my eyes. These surveys don't really cover the shepherds in our congregations. Where am I going - after this week's discussion which is still going as new people drop by and say - eh, me too... The numbers are really much higher than that. That doesn't sicken me or scare me or turn my stomach - it just says we need to deal with this properly and in a healthy way so that immorality is truly a sin over which we have found victory in through Jesus Christ - and not this one sin above all others with greater consequences(punishment) than all others. As Tony Campolo told his congregation when Jim Baker fell..."the only difference between the two of us is that he got caught."
So what was Tony's point with a comment like that Ed? Was it a confession to his congregation that he was an adulterer?
Reminds me of all the stories I have been reading about the cops in Toronto who have been consorting with mobsters and trafficking in drugs. Just like Pastors, we hold them to a higher standard because of their position (calling?) Also just like Pastors, it should not surprise anybody when a few of them fall prey to temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Never broken the law, George?
Broken all kinds of laws Arthur. Particularly moral ones. God extended His grace to me anyways. Why? Still figuring all that out. With God's help. I'm grateful. What's the higher standard though? What should the standard be. As Christians we know or at least we should know. And we should act accordingly. As our society moves farther and farther away from God and his principles you will see more and more cops getting into trouble with the law. They are part of the society that is moving farther and farther away from God so it only stands to reason. The challenge is what is the church doing. If ever there was a time to be salt and light now is it. This blogging world has been educational for me at this point in my life. I think I'm getting tired of it though. There is so much noise. Everybody putting their particular position forward. But what are we doing? How are we REALLY living the Christian life. How are we being salt and light? I think God is calling us to go out and get some work done. Not just going through the motions and doing the Christian thing and getting the check mark. But getting out there and being His hands and feet. I personally feel a calling in that regard. Downtown Toronto is such a huge harvest. The situation is desperate and it is urgent. And where is the church? Where are the stories of real transformation, Where are the stories of a particular church in Toronto that God is using in a powerful way to bring about conversions. I've been checking out missions and churches in the downtown and asking God to show me where He is at work down there. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen a churh or ministry where God is currently at work in a powerful way. Maybe Darryl can share where I might find one. The missions all seem to be mostly social service agencies. I think their intentions are good but they themselves admit they aren't seeing much fruit. Why is that? Can anybody tell me? Has God stopped working down there? Or is it maybe that we just aren't lined up with His will properly enough for Him to get some work done through us? I'm off on a rant here but just asking. Anyone got any answers for me?
George wrote, "I haven't seen a churh or ministry where God is currently at work in a powerful way. Maybe Darryl can share where I might find one." About the only one I can think of is Urban Promise Toronto. Sadly, what you write seems to be true in many cases.
Thanks Darryl, I see that Tony Campolo is speaking to their group on Oct 27, maybe I'll check that out. You're a big Tony fan right? Are you going to that?
I wouldn't say I'm a big Campolo fan, although I respect him. I wasn't planning on attending. If you go, let me know how it was.
Much of what you say is true, George. But to every coin there is a flip side. I am encouraged today, because I read in the Bible where it says "Where sin abounds, Grace abounds even more." I know the morality and ethics of this generation are in the sewer, - and according to the Scriptures it is going to get even worse. However, there ARE churches that are doing their level best to preach the whole Gospel. The Billy Graham organization is still doing wonderful work. Urban Promise Toronto, as Darryl has said, is another. TACF is another. And I know of several individuals who are also actively seeking to further The Kingdom. Do not despair, George. Keep your eyes on The Saviour and not on the waves around you and you will rise above the storm. Still praying for you Buddy. God will give you the desires of your heart.
Thanks Arthur, but don't worry I'm not in despair. I have hope. There are churches that are preaching the whole gospel, your're right, and I'm blessed to be a part of one. God is at work. I'm looking to see where God is at work in the downtown, to see how I might help out. As I'm going through this process I just started reading Henry Blackaby's book "Experiencing God". What a great book. He talks about finding out where God is at work and joining Him there. That's where I'm at right now. He's providing opportunities everyday. It is so awesome to see Him at work leading the way. Thanks for your prayers, I'll keep praying for you also. Come on out to Oakville sometime.