Where from here?

This post is from the defunct blog "Dying Church"

While everyone else is enjoying Christmas, I'm finally allowing myself to process some of the thoughts that have been going through my head recently. I plan on enjoying Christmas too, but it's good to finally have some time to think. This past May, Rachel started me thinking down a path I hadn't explored before through a series of posts called Listening to a non-church-goer. I had always seen the dark side of church life, but it had never occured to me that things might be so bad within the church that it would make sense to follow God outside of the church. I used to think things were simple: follow God, go to church; abandon church, and you've abandoned God. That started a process of discovery that has led to a lot of fresh questions for me. I began to question so much about church life. Like a house of cards, the entire thing began to crash down for me. Why was so little of my attention as a pastor given to soul care? Why does the institution consume so much effort? Why are our energies so inward focused? Why so much time on putting on what appears to be a Sunday morning show? Could we justify the way we're spending money in light of the needs in the world? How many lives are being changed from the inside out? Why do we have a programmatic answer to every possible question? Why do so few of them seem to work? I didn't have good answers to a lot of these questions. What's worse, I began to question my role in the whole thing. There are a lot of parts of pastoring I don't like, such as meeting after meeting, committee work, and figurehead stuff (attend to say a prayer, show up here, show up there). I could put up with this as long as I believed in the whole institution. As I began to question the institution, I became more frustrated with my work. My discomfort has been growing. Today, I've tried to put voice to some of my frustrations, and to ask myself where I see this going. Please understand that I may be completely wrong in what I'm about to say. Some would say that it makes sense to abandon the whole thing because it can't be redeemed. You may be right in the end, but I'm not there yet. Here's where I am, as of now. First, I think it's good that I'm dissatisfied. I won't rationalize my concerns. Instead, I'll lay them out honestly and wrestle with them. If they cause discomfort, then that's a cost I'm willing to pay. Next, I need to believe that I can play a role within the system. I may be completely wrong in this, but I see guys like Brian McLaren and Jordon Cooper who are effective voices from within. Is it hard? Sure. But I'm okay with that. I believe that there are others who are dissatisfied with what we've called church up to now, and are longing for more. A church can turn away from all that holds it in bondage and can begin to operate in new ways: to step off the programmatic, success-driven track, to begin to live for more than Sunday mornings. Building? It can use that to serve the community, to give it over to be used by, for instance, the urban poor of the area. Sunday mornings? It can begin to transition that from a sit-and-soak experience to just one of the expressions of group life within the church. Finally, and this is where I feel greater clarity today than before, I need to stop blaming the system and start living up to my calling. If I give in to the CEO or modern church pastor model, then I have no one to blame but myself. A good deal of my frustration comes from the fact that I have been ignoring key parts of my calling - reading, writing, reflection, spiritual direction - that are entirely possible within my current system. Eugene Peterson writes at length about this. I need to start where I am, and be faithful to my calling, before I start blaming the system. I'm only starting here. I know some of you will think I haven't gone far enough. But that's where I am tonight, and I welcome your thoughts. Oh yeah - Merry Christmas.

Comments

[Andrew Hamilton]

keep going - I am a practicing 'non believer' in the institution but passionately committed to chruch and to Jesus. The further you go the more it unravels until you wonder what all the fuss was about.

[George]

From Jim Cymbala's book Fresh Power is the following "Who can deny that this is the great need in our churches today? (referring to being filled with God the Holy Spirit) This is what all pastors desperately require, starting with me. We need something with the mark of heaven upon it. Too much of our religious life is made up of programs and human ideas, talents and strategies. While these have value, they pitifully fail to meet the need of the hour. What is missing today is something from heaven itself, something from God the Holy Spirit that fills and floods our lives. This has always been God's design for his church. Take, for example, the Bible's statement "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God" (1Peter 4:11) How long has it been since you heard that kind of authoritative, heart-searching preaching? Instead, too many church meetings have become increasingly predictable and dull. Many enemies of Christianity over the centuries have become confirmed in their agnostic opinions by going to churches that purported to be "Christian" but were dreadfully barren and spiritually dead. How could God be real and powerful if this kind of church was his major advertisement. Never mind quoting verses from the Bible; they were looking for some sign of Christianity working itslf out through real flesh and blood. Many people today, even church members, agree with the critics, although they're too polite to say so. Everything in the service may be doctrinally sound-but there's nothing from heaven that grips them. Too often we are found discussing only words and phrases, doctinal positions and denominational traditions-but where is the power of the Holy Spirit in all of this?" By contrast we see the New Testament church and its ministers regularly having encounters with the living God. This sense of the divine brought hardened sinners to their knees. The powerful word stabbed their consciences. The Holy Spirit produced a climate that was anything but dull and ordinary."

[George]

Further from the same book; "It is not enough to teach and preach about the Spirit. We must experience him personally in new depths, or we will accompish little. Without the Holy Spirit there is no quickening of the Scripture. Worship is hollow. Preaching is mechanical, never piercing the heart. Conviction of sin is almost non-existent. Faith is more mental than heartfelt. Prayer meetings fade away. Church meetings become routine. And Christian people stay lukewarm at best. I am not issuing any kind of call for fanaticism. We don't need musicians working up the audience into some kind of frenzy. We don't need manipulated manifestations or counterfeit gifts. But we do need the real Holy Spirit upon us in power, in all our churches, of all denominations and traditions." I couldn't agree with Jim Cymbala more. We need to worship in Spirit and in Truth. There has to be a balance. I think we all need to ask ourselves if we are being filled with the Spirit. If we are will he not guide and lead us? Is that not the promise? I am beginning to experience that now for myself and it is so amazing. Doors are being opened for new and exciting opportunities. I know it is all the work of the Spirit because it most certainly has nothing to do with anything that I can do but only through Him who works in me. It has become evident to me over the last little while the differences in churches. I have been in a lot of lukewarm churches where the message is good but something is missing. I see change in people but it doesn't seem to be very deep. Churches that are a mile wide and an inch deep. Where the focus seems to be on the people and keeping them happy and putting on a good show for them. Then there are the churches where you just sense something is different the moment you walk in. Its genuine, authentic with a real sense of the Spirit's presence. All the glory going to God in worship. The proclamation of uncompromised truth in the power of the Holy Spirit. Where you see people convicted of sin who really desire to have God change their lives. They come to repentence and experience the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. They then are on fire for God and want to go out and be used by God to change the world in which they live and share with others the incredible love that God has for humanity. That's the kind of church I want to be in because I know I will see God at work through his people. Where all the glory will go to God. In that regard I am so thankful to be part of a new church that desires to do just that. Watch for it, beginning January 1, 2004. Harvest Bible Chapel Oakville.(just had to plug it) You know Darryl, I appreciate your honesty in your posts on how you feel about church. My sense is that you aren't very satisfied with the status quo. Because of your honesty and openess I hope you don't mind me asking, "What is the problem exactly?" Are you being filled with the Spirit? Do you have a sense of Him guiding and directing your life? If you do, don't you get a sense of what He is telling you to do? Do you ever just totally humble yourself before Him and cry out to Him to show you the way. Isn't it just so true that if we come before him with a pure heart and call out or cry out to him in total humility, that he will respond? I pray that he does for you Darryl, so it will become clear what it is that He wants you to do.

[Darryl]

Hi George: You know, I think that Cymbala's on to something overall, and I appreciate your comments. My only caution with Cymbala is that prayer isn't a magic bullet that can solve all problems, but it's hard to criticize someone who talks and lives so powerfully. My need right now isn't so much personal direction or a way to make Richview better. Instead, I'm wondering if we (the Richviews and the Harvests of the world) have adopted a model of doing church that's really more harmful and helpful. If the way we do church is a problem, I have only two options: to be the best church we can be under a bad structure, or to do something new. That is the dilemma.

[George]

I'm trying to understand here. You say your need isn't so much personal direction but you have this dilemma about church. You don't seem satisfied with the way we do church but you seem to be saying that it is a bad structure and so you only have two options; to be the best church under a bad structure or to do something new. If you strive to do the best under a bad structure, you will likely never be content that its the right thing to do. Or you could try something new. I'm assuming that the goal is the same right? You desire to impact the world for Christ right? To see others come into a reltionship with Him right? Assuming that, why is it that the modern church seems so ineffective in accomplishing that? Whats happened? If the modern church was totally surrendered to Christ and Him alone could it not do so much more? Would He not bless the efforts if he saw that? I see that as the biggest obstacle. So many churches embrace so much of what the world has to offer there is hardly any difference. There is not much that sets them apart from the world. That's where the problem is. You put the Richviews and the Harvests in the same category, I don't know enough about Richview to do that. I know a bit about Harvest though. There are a lot of churches that have a similar type of method and way of doing church but are yet so different. I think of the difference between a Willowcreek and a Harvest. Both in the Chicago area. Both large churches, Wllow being much larger and having this huge association. I was in a Willowcreek associated church. I now clearly see the difference. Its in the commitment of its members and leaders to Christ and Him alone. I don't have the same church experience that you have Darryl but I don't see what the big problem is with the current model. I see the biggest problem in the area of commitment and total surrender to Christ. Back to your dilemma though. If the current way of doing church is a bad model, what do you propose? What does the emergent church say about what needs to be changed?

[Darryl]

Hi George: Where to start? Things like a focus on the worship service (http://www.theooze.com/articles/article.cfm?id=601), and putting so much effort into growing churches and denominations come to mind, along with a focus on buildings, budgets, and programs that serve the needs of church members. You would enjoy reading "The Present Future" by Reggie McNeal. I hope to review it soon. Darryl

[m.j.]

Hello. I have enjoyed reading your blog. I don't even remember how I found it, but it is ironic because the issue discussed here, the church, and all of its ills, is one that concerns me greatly. Oh how we need a reformation in the hearts and minds of the people within this ugly monster we've created and called "church"! May God bless you in your struggle.

[Tony]

Can't remember who to credit this quote to, but it's a good one: "If you don't change the direction you are headed in, you'll get there!" It's nice to know others out there are struggling with the exact same issues I am. Please email me when you find the answers. :)

[dan]

I liked the idea of emailing Tony the answers, perhaps we all need that. I don't know how many answers are coming from those that are doing new models of church and rethinking some of these issues. Maybe it isn't a matter of finding "the answer" but simply learning to ask different questions.

[Jude]

You claim that many people have lived healthier life outside the church. You really do not know if that is the truth. However, when you leave the church there are many things that you do not get the chance to do that Christ tells us too. First, Christ said to take communion in the remembrance of him (which is the first day of the week) if you are not in church you do not do that (Matt 26:26). Secondly, He tells us to bear each other's burdens and help one another, if you are not in church how can they help you (Galatians 6:2). Third, He said when you are sick or anyone is sick you should get the elders in your church to pray for him or her and anoint them with oil (James 5:14), well if you do not go to church, you cannot do that. In the Old Testament, Jewish people sacrificed many things to God but now that we are under the New Testament laws, we are told to sacrifice ourselves and that is what scares people. Living outside of the Christian life is not impossible people doing it everyday but to me it is more stressful than being a Christian. As a Christian you learn that the material world fades and you do not worry about what you do not have, you focus on what Christ wants you to do. We as humans made life harder for us because it is everyone out for them but in Christ, you try to help everybody. I am not talking about the people who look, acts, and talks like Christians but in reality, they are wolves and want people to do what they want. If man would just teach, what Christ taught and not men

[Darryl]

I wouldn't be so hard on those who have "left the church". I think what they're talking about is leaving the modern church, the one with buildings, programs, pastors, and an address. In reality, they haven't left church at all. They've just left one model of how to do church - probably not the best model, either.