Uneasiness

:: journal

I don't understand it, but I am growing less and less comfortable, more and more awkward and unsure about church meetings. It's not like I don't know what's going on, because pretty much nothing would surprise me in church meetings. I just somehow feel more and more of an outsider, an observer.. and I don't like this reverse-comfort process. I read blogs about home churches and dream of being a part of a little community of people who care about me, and I about them. To ease this feeling of loneliness when I meet together with other christians.

Rachel captures the spirit of what many seem to be feeling these days. Just about the time that many churches have moved from outdated modes of church to modern, relevant ones, a new generation has come along that hates slick marketing and the pastor-as-CEO model of church, and longs for community and authenticity. I'm part of an intergenerational church, and it sometimes feels like we're all using different standards of success. One group longs for the good old days. Another group longs to look something like Willow Creek. Another says, "Stop pretending and get real." That's not even including those who have checked out. What a scary and exciting time to be part of what God is doing in this world.