Here’s a secret that pastors don’t want known: We’re deeply insecure. I know. It’s not much of a secret, is it? But we like to think nobody knows.
I recently heard of a pastor who called the church administrator every Sunday afternoon on the way home from church to get the attendance numbers. On Monday mornings he would call again by ten o’clock to find out about the offering. He lived and died according to the numbers.
I don’t want to blame anyone for this situation. I’m sure pastors have always struggled with this temptation. But it can’t be any easier these days for a generation of pastors weaned on conferences and books promising that we too can have a church that measures up. The problem is that reality never looks as good as the conference brochures. It’s never quite good enough, and most pastors feel like failures at least part of the time.
What’s more, I know enough about “successful” pastors to know that they struggle with the same insecurities. They’re also tempted to live and die by the numbers. They also sometimes wonder if what they’re doing really matters.
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That’s why I needed to preach yesterday’s sermon to myself before anyone else. The subtext of the passage (Mark 4:1-34) is the apparent failure of Jesus’ ministry. The Pharisees, scribes and Herodians are against him, and even his family thinks he’s crazy. If this really is coming of the Kingdom of God, why does it look like such a failure?
I won’t give you the whole sermon, but here’s some of what the passage says to those of us who wrestle with feelings of insignificance:
- We expect ministry to be glamorous. Mostly it’s not, not even for Jesus.
- In the parable of the sower and the seed, the sower met with failure three-quarters of the time, yet his work overall was not a failure.
- Rejection of the gospel is not a failure of the gospel or the person sharing the gospel.
- We have a role, but the work is God’s. The growth and success of his kingdom does not depend on us. It doesn’t depend on human effort, and human insight can’t even explain it. The seed grows, and so does the kingdom. God will take care of the results.
- The kingdom begins in a small, unnoticed way. It mostly goes on unnoticed. It often looks insignificant. It’s weak and unglamorous. Things don’t go as we expect. But the kingdom is growing. God is at work. He will bring about results that go beyond our asking or conceiving.
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Talk about an attitude adjustment. If we really believe what Jesus says in this passage, it changes the scorecard. I believe what Jesus says. I just don’t believe it enough. I’m still prone to live and die by the numbers, to wonder if it’s really making a difference.
But there’s hope. The pastor who used to call on the way home from church and every Monday morning no longer does so. His staff have noticed the difference.
David Neff writes:
The kingdom of God is like a mustard seed. It is like yeast. It is like a perfect pearl. It is like finding just one lost sheep. Or just one lost coin. It belongs to little children and others who were “small” in the estimation of Jesus’ contemporaries.
God likes small beginnings. He likes to work in hidden ways that are easily overlooked…Small doesn’t mean “insignificant” or “of no consequence.”
I believe. Help my unbelief.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Darryl;
You just can’t be laying smack down like that on a Monday morning. Don’t you know that all us pastors are licking our wounds on Monday morning? The hurt, poor me, wallowing in our littleness [in some sadistic way] makes us feel better about ourselves. It even gathers attention and sympathy and a few “it’s O.K. Honeys” from our wife, or family. These blue Mondays can almost be addicting if they didn’t do such damage to our soul’s longing to be filled with something more.
“There is no man whatever, that has any want in reference unto the things of God, but Christ will be unto him that which he wants: I speak of those who are given him of his Father. Is he dead? Christ is life (Col. 3:4). Is he weak? Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God (1 Cor. 1:24,30). Has he the sense of guilt upon him? Christ is complete righteousness- “The LORD our Righteousness” (Jer.23:6). Many poor creatures are sensible of their wants, but know not where their remedy lies. Indeed, whether it be life or light, power or joy all is wrapped up in Him.”- John Owen, Communion with the Triune God.
Thanks Darryl for the Monday morning wake up call.
Great post, Darryl. This came up at Little Flowers this Sunday too. We reminded each other that, as Christians, we must measure our “success” only by our obedience, not numbers or opinions, etc. That is a tough pill to swallow. Thanks!
Peace,
Jamie
“In the parable of the sower and the seed, the sower met with failure three-quarters of the time, yet his work overall was not a failure.”
Just a little push back – I doubt that the percentages in the story-line of the parable are intended to make this point at all. The intention is to survey various soils or negative hearts resistant to God’s gospel in contrast to the good accepting heart. It might sound supportive to reassure pastors that meeting lots of failure should be tempered with over all success, but what if a pastorate meets with lots of success should he necessarily assume over all failure? I think your point misses the theocentric meaning of the parable.
Dave:
There are a few directions you can go with this parable. I have usually focused on the various kinds of soil, which is a valid way to go. It wasn’t until last week that I noticed the wider context: the parables in this chapter explain why Jesus’ message wasn’t universally welcomed. That, along with the quote from Isaiah, makes an important point: the Kingdom of God isn’t failing when people reject it. In fact, according to Isaiah, Jesus says, it’s to be expected.
There is something worse than being insecure or thinking one is a failure. And that would be knowing one is always right and everyone else just too blind to recognize it. God uses the things that are not and the chief “are not” is us.
Great post Darryl. I often tell people I’ve never known a pastor who didn’t lie about the size of his church – and I know LOTS of pastors. Of course, I use the word “lie” as a hyperbole. In reality we’re all pulled by a kind of eg0-gravity to fudge our averages upward.
Concerning Dave’s “push back” above: The parable if the sower has been classically mis-interpreted as an “evangelism” passage, but given the wider context (which must take into consideration the urgent prophetically-based messianic expectations among God’s people at the time for God’s overwhelmingly powerful intervention and decisive victory over the Romans) it becomes clear that this parable – along with most of the other Kingdom parables – was meant to re-orient people’s expectations about the Kingdom. The parable of the sower, the parable of the mustard seed, the parable of the treasure in the field, etc. can all be boiled down to, “Yes, I know you were expecting a conquering King, but, for now, the big surprise and the big mystery of the Kingdom is that it is a matter of choice that can be resisted.” We don’t see that so clearly today because we take it for granted that entering the Kingdom is a matter of choice – and I’ll just add, “at least from our perspective as humans” so we don’t have to have a fresh Calvinism vs Arminianism debate : ) It’s a given for us, but for the first century Jews whose concept of God centered essentially on the conquering-heavy Exodus narrative, this concept would have been a shock and a scandal.
Personally, I think this message is still highly relevant in a Western ministry culture that is largely triumphalist. Jesus is still trying to re-orient our understanding of the Kingdom from one of brash conquering to one of humble service.
Darryl,
Great, great post. Stop taking gospel-talk and turning it into gospel-walk, please! I am now having to apply what I preach?
Great great post.
I don’t say this in an effort to boast or be holier-than-thou but what if…
… the preaching pastor never knew the numbers of his church?
I mean, is that even possible?
Worth thinking about. I still get a sense by looking around how many people are there even if I don’t know the numbers
My sense is that the change has to take place internally, and probably on a regular basis.